abby in the office

back

2011-10-26T09:40:00.000-04:00

a very good friend of mine posted a link to my blog in her blog, so now i'm feeling obligated to keep this thing updated! work did this horrible thing it does where it picks up and doesn't give me a chance to think. so now i'm taking a thinking moment by force, whether or not it's here. because i think i read somewhere that it's more productive to take mind breaks throughout the day than to charge forward and get decision fatigue without a break.

anyway, there's news! i'm PREGNANT! at 14 weeks now, thane & i go tonight to hear baby's heartbeat for the first time. i've got an itty bitty baby bump in progress, and it's really interesting that my body is forming a baby without my help at all! i mean, i'm eating healthy stuff, and i'm exercising (if dancing like a fool at a Hanson concert last week counts, which i think it does). but i'm not thinking, ok, let's get to work on those eyelids! or tonight while i sleep, i think i'm going to form some vocal chords and maybe get a kidney if there's time. it really is a miracle.

all this to say, i'm definitely still in the office, and even though i dream at night about being a stay-at-home mom, it's just not in the picture right now. and i'm ok with that. i trust that God will provide thane with an awesome, high-paying job if we need loads of money and a lazy abby. we'll see.

feels good to be back. who knows? maybe i'll start up a baby blog..

a walking adventure

2011-03-04T15:25:00.002-05:00

yesterday, i took a walk during my lunch break. it was a good walk to the boundary of my office complex. exercise and exposure to sun were desperately needed. but, because that wasn't enough of an adventure, i decided today to walk past the office complex. i like adventures, and i think you do, too, if you're reading this. i i'll tell about about my amazing lunchtime walking adventure.

when walking to the end of the office complex, i noticed again (i had noticed it yesterday, too) the train track that runs up a little hill, parallel to the office buildings. so i walked up onto the tracks to see what i could see. and what did i see but a path! a paved path that ran through a little wooded area behind some huge houses. so, of course, i followed it. houses in wayne are HUGE. and at least a few of them have dogs. the fun part was imagining that i was walking into narnia or some other magical world. or imagining the fun conversations i could have with the people who live in these huge houses.

about 15 minutes after finding the path, the alarm on my phone went off, telling me that it was time to turn around and get ready to rejoin reality. of course, as my phone started ringing, i came upon a sign on my path that said that it was a restricted area or no trespassing or something like that. so i had to turn back. but now i'm really interested to find out what lies beyond that sign!

by request, an update

2011-03-04T07:49:00.000-05:00

because i love my sister, and because i can't resist a requested update, a few fun quotes from the last week or so:

"we need to know how, where, how and when."

"we have some backpaid bills that has not yet been paid by you guys."

"it's a whole bunch of numbers followed by the letter six."

"So, you know, it does get taken out on a basis."

"All of the notes we have are kept."

"They’re on the west side of the coast.”

and my favorite recent quote:

"Generally, that's impossible, but..."

BAIL

2011-01-12T08:52:00.001-05:00

aaand i'm back!

2011-01-12T08:18:00.002-05:00

and i'm in a whole new state of mind called simplicity. i've been reading blogs such as Becoming Minimalist, Small Notebook, SimpleOrganic, and Zen Habits (and, of course, all of the other similarly-minded blogs branching off from those listed). so i've changed the look of this blog back to its minimalistic state (let's see how long this lasts), and i'm moving into a more purposeful stage of life -- one where i don't get bogged down in the stress of things that don't matter. anxiety is so 2010. it's a new year!

and i've discovered a new favorite website. similar to MLIA, but better! HERE it is!

and i just saw Inception for the first time last night. so well done! and here is my favorite DBPB.com post so far:

Dear Martin Luther King, Jr.,

I have a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream... Now what?

Sincerely,

Leonardo DiCaprio

NaNoWriMo!

2010-11-01T13:20:00.000-04:00

today is november 1. november is National Novel Writing Month. this year, i am finally taking the plunge to participate in writing my very own 50,000-word novel. i only decided this about 4 days ago, so i'm really flying by the seat of my pants here. i have a vague idea about plot. i'm writing from the first person because that's what i'm comfortable doing (feels more natural, if you can believe it), and i'm taking my inspiration from this blog, The Office, Outsourced, notalwaysright.com, and mylifeisaverage.com. i think this is going to be fun. i got a decent start this morning (887 words) before work, and i'm really, really antsy to finish up the day with about 850 more (daily goal to get 50,000 words in 30 days is 1,667).

"Today, I was in my car and we passed a hobo with a sign that said "WILL EAT FOR FOOD!". I was hopelessly confused. MLIA"

the dead little bird

2010-09-28T12:36:00.013-04:00

once upon a time, there was a dead bird. i don't know how it died, but it must have been over the weekend because monday morning, it was lying dead on the office's doorstep. ok, it wasn't actually on the doorstep, which is quite small. it was tucked up against the doorstep so that you stepped over it to enter the building. someone in our office said she thought it was a leaf.

anyway, the dead little bird was there monday morning, and a customer service rep came in complaining about it. the dead little bird was still there this morning, when the same customer service reps complained about it. seeing as how auditors were coming, we decided to move it out of sight. having a dead bird by your doorstep is not very inviting or professional.

someone suggested a memorial service, so when my manager brought out a dustpan and scooped up the dead little bird, i said a few words. it was a very moving ceremony. unfortunately, it was only a little bit like the episode of The Office where they have a funeral for a dead bird. quote time!

Pam: I'd also like to say a few words if that's okay.
Michael: Yes.
Pam: What do we know about this bird? You might think, "Not much. It's just a bird." But we do know some things. We know it was a local bird. Maybe it's that same bird that surprised Oscar that one morning with a special present from above.
Kevin: Oh, I remember that. That was SO funny.
Pam: And we know how he died. Flying into the glass doors. But you know what? I don't think he was being stupid. I think he just really, really wanted to come inside our building to spread his cheer and lift our spirits with a song.
Dwight: He's not a songbird.
Michael: Shhh.
Pam: An impression, then. Lastly, we can't help but notice that he was by himself when he died, but of course, we all know that doesn't mean he was alone. Because I'm sure that there were lots of other birds out there who cared for him very much. He will not be forgotten.
Angela: [quickly] Amen.
Dwight: [begins playing recorder]
Pam: [singing] Just smile for me and let the day begin. You are the sunshine that lights my heart within... on the wings of love ...

so, it wasn't really like that. but it was close enough.

in the end, the auditors came, and there was not a dead bird there to greet them. they don't even know they should be grateful.

the end.

fee schedule

2010-09-22T16:28:00.003-04:00

I just put up this list in my office, so please be aware of the following fees before making any associated decisions:

ABBY'S FEE SCHEDULE:

Hugs: 5 cents
Proofreading: 50 cents per page
Supervisor calls: $5.00 per escalated call
Career counseling: $5.00 per half-hour
Relationship counseling: $5.00 per half-hour
Matchmaking: $20 initial finder's fee (plus 10% of any and all monetary wedding gifts)

moving on... ?

2010-09-20T09:33:00.000-04:00

thoughts... what is a good reason to leave a job? and is there a difference in needing/wanting to leave a position and needing/wanting to leave a company? and what is the difference between good reasons and good excuses? hmmm...

i finally caved to the reality of this "economical crisis" when i realized that i've been working with the same people for 2 years. usually, the turnover in my customer service department is 1 year, and sometimes, it's higher than that. so the fact that people aren't leaving doesn't mean that they love the job; it just means that they can't get out. fact. so, even though we're stuck here, are there any good reasons we should all leave when the job market picks back up? i'm sure we'll see a mass exodus of antsy 20somethings such as myself from their current workplaces into other jobs. kind of like musical chairs. but musical companies. i hope they actually play music. that would be awesome.

a long day and wanderlust

2010-09-07T12:56:00.001-04:00

so today i'm scheduled to work 10:30-7 instead of my usual 8-4:30 to cover for our trusty late-shift supervisor, who is out today. my morning was pretty hectic; i let myself sleep in a little as an indulgence (last night was a relatively late one), and i got myself out the door about 10 minutes later than i wanted. but it's all good: i got to work at exactly 8:00. my manager came to the front door to let me in, and he greeted me with "What are you doing here?" which was not nearly as pleasant as the "Good morning!" i had just given him. and then i realized i was 2 1/2 hours early!! oh well, i'll be working 8-7 today, but i'm taking an hour lunch now and a half-hour dinner break later in the afternoon. now that's what i call balance. ugh.
in other news, it's that time again. i'm wanderlusty, grasping for anything that might add spice to my otherwise stable (aka BORING) routine of a life. i've been living in the same apartment for 2 years now; i've had the same job for coming on 2 years; and i think the most interesting new thing in my life is my parents' new dog, chap (so named for charlie chaplin, who also never speaks) -- but even that newness is wearing off (it's been 2 months since they got him). i'm so ready for december, when thane graduates and we start doing something else.

you can visually see when i need variety because i change the layout of this blog. (btw, what do you think?)

yesterday was a minor holiday, so of course my husband had classes. i absolutely love martin luther king jr. day, labor day and columbus day because i get off and he doesn't. so i get to be a student for those days. i'm not even joking that yesterday was the most fun i'd had since thane's birthday party. i got to learn about early irish society, the military strategy of joshua's conquest of the Promised Land (paradoxical-sounding, i know), and i got a lot of reading time. it was wonderful, and i would love to go to school again. but, you know, the grass is always greener and all that.

one of my favorite things

2010-09-03T11:23:00.000-04:00

last night, thane had a night class. my sister brought her roommates over for dinner (we had this amazing thai red curry) and had some girl time. it was cute.

The Finer Things Club meets on wednesday to discuss To Kill a Mockingbird, so after the girls left, i read for a couple of hours. it was wonderful. i think this pre-appointed reading time might be reason enough for me to bring thursdays back.

in case you didn't know, we did away with thursdays a few months ago, when my boss realized that fridays were so much more fun. so, instead of having a thursday and then a friday, we decided that there would be two fridays instead. so, yesterday was actually friday, and today is friday 2.0. i'm serious, it's improved morale by at least 5%. (but that's a lie, because i don't even know what that means. i mean, i know what it means, in theory, but how in the world would you measure morale? how many laughs occur in the department each day? or maybe the average of the sum of smiles + laughs + jokes equals the average morale... i feel like this should be in a chart format. maybe next post, because this is getting far too long to be a side comment in parenthesis.)

BRILLIANT IDEA! so, my manager has been bored all morning. seriously, he's asked me if it's 4:00 yet at least 5 times in the last 2 hours. i'm going to take that as him not having enough to do (don't care if it's true or not) and now every time he steps into my office, i'm going to ask him to do something. at the ready, i have 3 pieces of paper that need to be shredded, so i'm set for at least 3 visits. i'm sure i can think of more tasks if it comes to it. this will keep me entertained for the rest of the day. i think it might become a friday 2.0 tradition.

theories

2010-09-02T13:11:00.002-04:00

there's a very nice, quiet woman who started here a few weeks ago. at first, everybody was confused. when she arrived for her first day of work, none of the managers knew who she was, and the receptionist was very frustrated.

because of this mystery, several people offered their theories. (you'll remember that we're very good at those; just search "theory" in this blog using the box on the right!)

Theory #1: she's related to the president of the company, who is paying her under the table.
Theory #2: she's related to someone else in the company, and she may or may not be paid under the table.
Theory #3 (and my favorite): she's actually the president of the company, a la Undercover Boss, since she and the president have never been seen in the same room at the same time.

turns out, she's an extern! not nearly as exciting as the Undercover Boss theory, but still a little mysterious. i admit that i had no idea what an extern was, so of course i Googled it! here's what i found:

²ex·tern

noun

Definition of EXTERN

: a person connected with an institution but not living or boarding in it; specifically : a nonresident doctor or medical student at a hospital

but we're not a medical institution. and nobody lives here. well, i can't be too sure about that, because it seems like some people never leave, while others are never here (or so it seems).

anyway, this one was more helpful:

Externship - Externships are experiential learning opportunities, similar to internships, offered by educational institutions to give students short practical experiences in their field of study. In medicine it may refer to a visiting physician who is not part of the regular staff.

ok, that makes sense. and that would explain why she followed one employee around for days when she started here. i mean, it's normal for a new employee to shadow an experienced employee while they work; it's a whole kind of weird that the new employee shadowed the experienced employee to the bathroom and back...

word of the day: cacophony

spell check

2010-08-30T16:01:00.000-04:00

dear followers (yes, all 6 of you!), what is up with spell check? seriously, i think we should start some sort of protest. who's job is it to keep the spell checker updated? if bootylicious is in the dictionary, then why is there a red line under it? and how is it that my grammar is better than the computer's? why does it suggest such crazy alternatives that make no sense?

i'm sure i have a ton of examples, but it's monday. oh well.

word of the day: wordsmith

news

2010-08-24T13:15:00.000-04:00

yesterday, i was abby not in the office. it wasn't nearly as complicated or difficult as i thought buying a car might be, but then again, we bought the car from great people. maybe i'll post a picture or two in the days to come.

adrenaline-filled wake-up call

2010-08-18T13:14:00.003-04:00

this morning, i woke up at 7:00 a.m. my alarm should have gone off at 6:00 a.m., which was actually sleeping in, since i've decided to move my yoga practice from 5:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. i totally need to relax more after work than before it. can i get an amen?

my carpool usually arrives at 7:05 a.m. she actually arrived at 7:13 a.m., giving me 8 extra minutes. i pretty much did everything i usually do in the morning, minus yoga and shower, including:

brushing teeth
brushing hair
washing face
applying minimalistic makeup (pressed powder, mascara, and lip gloss)
packing lunch

all that, and i'm actually awake! i've been in a better mood starting out my day in an adrenaline rush that i have been in the last few weeks waking up with about an hour to get ready for my day. i think i may be on to something...

online dating sites

2010-08-18T08:46:00.000-04:00

online dating sites are interesting things. like, for example, something interesting is that you don't necessarily have to log in to view peoples' picture and info. and that can be pretty embarrassing, to have a picture up so that anybody in the world can see it.

if i was going to put up my info on an online dating website, this is the picture i would use:

see? i'm already winking at you! now you feel this automatic desire to wink back. i read that in a book, The Definitive Book of Body Language. apparently, if you see a picture of somebody smiling, you automatically smile back. so, if you see a picture of someone winking, you can't help it. you just have to wink back.

now, tell me you didn't just try winking in the last 30 seconds.

i'm also watching Lie to Me a lot lately.

urban word of the day: playing the dozens

quote of the day: "So, if we don't have that, we don't have that." - Chip

spelling

2010-08-13T12:46:00.036-04:00

spelling words over the phone can be extremely difficult, especially when "b," "d," "p," "t," and "v" all sound the same over the phone.

according to wikipedia, there's a phonetic alphabet for that:

but if using the military phonetic alphabet is too boring, you could always spice it up a little by spelling an english word with words in other languages... again, thanks to wikipedia for giving us this amazing spelling alphabet. it was too big to include in this post, but it's pretty amazing. check it out.

i think i might spell my name in dutch for the rest of the day. "that's a as in anna, b as in bernard, b as in bernard, y as in ypsilon."

quote of the day: "k as in... k" - zeke, the newest member of our team.

on getting sick

2010-08-05T12:44:00.000-04:00

i'm currently drinking this awesome nutritional smoothie from Bolthouse Farms. it costs about $4, and there are 4 servings in one bottle. each serving contains 1200% of your daily value of vitamin C (hence the name C-Boost). i know i sound like a commercial, but this is seriously the best stuff ever made. it's better (and cheaper) than going to the doctor, and it's a great preventative measure if you think you might be getting sick. plus, it's tasty!

my mistake was sleeping in the same room as justin's bed. because justin has been sick for two weeks, and then his girlfriend jen and his housemate chris got sick. and isn't it just my luck that not only did i sleep in the same room as justin's bed (with thane, not justin, in it) on saturday, but on tuesday, zeke (another of justin's housemates) started working in my department. of course, he lives in the house of guys who are getting sick, and he brought it with him. so yeah, it's inevitable. i'm already coughing a little. hence, my choice of drink for today. yum.

quotes from this week

2010-07-22T08:54:00.000-04:00

"it's like calling McDonald's for a problem with Walmart!" - Lauren to a caller who kept complaining about another company.

"awesome! half of my closet is Ann Taylor." - Brendan, after hearing that his girlfriend got an interview at Ann Taylor.

"your face is freaking me out!" - Lisa talking about Emma Watson.

"is it friday yet? oh wait, yes it is!" - me. because my department has decided to throw thursdays out the window and have two fridays. today is friday v1.0. how do you like them apples?

today's lunch

2010-07-16T13:35:00.015-04:00

today's lunch was awesome because i used my hot pot to boil noodles in water. i feel super resourceful.
i wish i had taken pictures, but my hot pot looks like this:

yeah. it was fun, i promise.

word of the day: notate

quote of the week: "my daughter goes to the doctor on a regular periodical basis so she needs the coverage worser than i do."

random urban sentence: that lady got out of pocket, so i got in my bag on her.

bumper stickers

2010-07-08T13:30:00.002-04:00

i was driving myself home from work yesterday (my carpool buddy has been sick since Sunday), and i noticed the bumper stickers on other cars -- and almost didn't notice a couple of red lights that are supposed to tell me that the driver is hitting the brakes on that car, so i should probably do likewise. so then i thought, why do people like to plaster the back of their vehicles with bumper stickers?

my conclusions:

1. people with one or two little bumper stickers or decals are just trying to tell the world who they are while we all drive on this road called life, which so often puts labels (like Chevy or Lexus) on us that lead to stereotypes that we don't necessarily fall under or want to fall under. so, these people make it easier for the rest of us and label themselves!

i would probably fall into this category, since right now, i'm a really old, beat up toyota driver with a PBU Faculty/Staff decal on my right rear window and an EZ-Pass in my windshield, which says that i'm poor but i work. i'm a Christian, but i'm trying not to be annoying about it. i actually have two window cling-ons for PBU and for WXPN, and i've been thinking about putting them on my windows for a few months, but i'm just not sure i want people knowing that, because i once had a bad experience in college with a few Bush/Cheney posters and a van driver who was obviously voting for the other guy. he cut me off, braked hard in front of me, and threw papers at my car -- all in the middle of rush hour on the PA turnpike.

2. people with a wall of bumper stickers on the back of their car, in their windows, etc. need to calm down. yes, now i know exactly who you are and what you're about. i know which politician you support, i know if you're a hippie, and i know what you think of God. it's like all the things that you're not supposed to talk about at the dinner table, you ARE supposed to lay out on your car so that people you don't know can know it. seems a little passive-aggressive to me.

3. anyway, the real conclusion is this: people that fall in category #2 are the smart cookies of our society. they know that people are easily distracted (even when they're doing the most dangerous everyday thing they could possibly be doing) and that the auto insurance system and police are on their side in some major, undercover conspiracy theory that must involve money and oil and terrorism. i just know it. what happens is, drivers are too busy reading the crazy bumper stickers on the back of this car that say clever things and may or may not contradict each other, you're too busy contemplating this person's take on the meaning of life through the collage of stickers you've chosen, to concentrate on the road. they brake hard, and BAM! now you've hit this car and don't even care what they're stupid bumper stickers reveal about the person they really are, or how smart their child is, or where they go on vacation. you now have to deal with causing this car accident, and, most likely, there are other cars involved, too (they might have bumper stickers, but you don't care to read those, either), and it's all your fault.

a fun thing i just found

2010-07-08T11:50:00.003-04:00

hot as hades

2010-07-06T18:51:00.001-04:00

so, on the way out of work today, i waived 'bye to my co-worker, and she yelled "it's hot as hell out here!" now, i'm usually upset at people who use words like "hell" or "ass" out of their proper contexts. (fyi, i was an english ed. major in college, and i probably would have studied linguistics if i knew myself better in high school.) anyway, "hot as hell" seems pretty appropriate. hell may very well be 102*F with 29% humidity.

also, please use "ass load" properly. my well-meaning (usually Christian) friends say "butt load" and just look like fools. i promise, it's "ass load" -- as in, a donkey can carry a lot of stuff.

punching bag

2010-07-02T09:26:00.001-04:00

so, my manager keeps a punching bag in his office. well, it's not really a bag... it's a focus mitt and it helps us get our aggression out without yelling at the customers we talk to all day.

just now, a supervisor from another department was frustrated and walked over to our department to ask, "where is the punching bag?" i mean, you have to know her for it to be really funny, because she is tall, slender, and pretty much should be a model instead of working in an insurance company. yes, she punched the focus mitt, while i was holding it. and then Bob from Accounting walked in and looked very confused. i was laughing so hard, it was hard to hold up the mitt.

also, my manager isn't in today. luckily, the key to my office is also the key to his office. we're a team like that.

siesta

2010-06-22T13:40:00.015-04:00

i get tired at 2:00 every single day at work.

here is my work day routine:

8:00 clock in for work
11:30 i feel hungry so i eat a snack, usually involving sunflower seeds and Yogi Breathe Deep tea.
12:30 clock out for lunch, eat, browse the internet, sometimes knit
1:30 clock in from lunch
2:00 crash
2:30 try not to fall asleep
3:00 ask people to repeat themselves when they talk to me
5:00 clock out and thank God that the day is over so i can go home

here is my new lunch routine:

12:30 clock out for lunch, eat food (outside when the weather is nice)
12:50 clean up
1:00 naptime in my office (not even kidding)
1:20 alarm goes off, get up, do a little sun salutation to wake up, drink water, eat a Hershey's kiss
1:30 clock back in and work productively

today was Day 1 of my new lunch routine. it went rather well, except that i took some time falling asleep. i didn't turn off the light in my office, and i think the darkness will help induce sleep better. i also slept with my shoes on (what was i thinking?) but i won't do that again.

acknowledgements: thank you to siestaawareness.org and wikipedia for helping me understand that my body temp drops and i make more melatonin in the middle of the day, so it's perfectly natural that i want a nap after lunch. i'd also like to thank the people involved in giving me a one-hour lunch break.most of all, i'd like to thank God for giving us the gift of sleep.

urban dictionary word of the day: pop off

more reasons to enjoy my office

2010-06-18T13:53:00.001-04:00

today, i realized that my manager has a girlfriend named Holly.

word of the day: superfluous

unintentional twin day

2010-06-17T13:16:00.007-04:00

apparently, it was twin day...

yup.

a few fun stories to share

2010-06-16T10:35:00.001-04:00

yesterday, a certain someone was eating a buffalo chicken sandwich, somehow got buffalo sauce on his finger, and then rubbed his eye. of course, the sauce got into his eye and started burning. fortunately, there was a bottle of water nearby. it still burned well into the afternoon. and i'm still chuckling about it.

this morning, someone's 2 button was stuck. (ironically, this person had an issue with that same button on the vending machine last week. if you're reading this and you know what that means, please comment! according to wikipedia, according to a Chinese saying, "Good things comes in pairs." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2_(number)) when the IT guy entered 222222222 as an ID number, it brought up a person named "Purple Monster." well, technically, it said, "Monster, Purple." of course, it was a test file for something and not a real person. anyway, we enjoyed that this morning, grateful for the fact that someone in IT had a good sense of humor. i added notes: "ONE-EYED, ONE-HORNED. FLIES. LIKES TO EAT PEOPLE." and someone else made a note that said the mother called and was so upset she breathed fire through the phone. ok, maybe someone was a little excited and went off into a world of fantasy, but we were having fun.

today, i'm going to send a fax to someone from their future selves. this is funny because they've already sent it to themselves. yeah, that will be my extracurricular activity for the day.

Office quote of the day: "If you're lying to me, right now, Pam, your baby is gonna come out a liar." - Michael Scott

back!

2010-06-14T08:18:00.000-04:00

hey all you loyal readers, i'm back! i was out on vacation in lovely spokane, washington at the end of may, and then life got a little crazy and i needed a break from everything - even knitting! i know, that's just crazy. but it's true.

anyway, since coming back from vacation, a few things have happened:

i switched shifts! from 10:30-7 to 8-5. it's been lovely carpooling with a friend/the receptionist in her convertible (top down on all sunny days, which gave me an excuse to buy sunglasses) and getting home at a decent hour, eating dinner at a normal time (as opposed to our old 9:00 dinnertime).
i got an iPod! alright, the story behind this isn't nearly as fun as you'd think.

DISCLAIMER: don't read this story if you have trouble thinking about surgeries or blood or anything like that. i don't hold back in my explanations.
story: if you didn't already hear, thane got the wisdom teeth on his left side removed last wednesday. he had scheduled a consult at 5:00, so he went there straight after work (which he could do, since i carpool now). they looked and recommended immediate surgery, so that's what they did. i got a call around 5:40 from thane saying he was going into surgery. now, i love my husband because he is awesome. he's so strong that he has a superpower called Resistance to Anesthesia. because of this, several novocaine attempts did not work. at all. so, he dealt with the pain, like he always does, only stopping to convulse in pain for a minute, and then allowing the dentist to continue. apparently, there was blood everywhere. it took about two hours total, and the dentist gave us a massive discount! not sure if it's because he felt bad or because thane is only on the school's insurance plan (i.e., nothing was covered) or because we went to college with his wife. :)
so, with all the money we saved from the massive discounts, we had some tax refund money to spend like it was ours! i bought an iPod and put in an order on Knit Picks. thane bought an Xbox 360 and the 2010 FIFA world cup Xbox game.

the world cup started! so it has officially been 4 years that thane and i have been together. we started dating in june 2006, and we just watched world cup games as much as possible. well, now we both have full-time jobs and can't watch most of the games, but it's still fun. go USA! i for one am completely satisfied with the moral victory over England on saturday. :)

my caffeine addiction

2010-05-13T16:45:00.000-04:00

hi, i'm abby, and i'm addicted to caffeine.

because really, i am. how did i learn about this addiction? it's all simple observation.

about four sunday nights ago, i was minding my own business, doing what i do on pretty much every sunday night: i was playing a board game with my neighbors. we've kind of taken sunday evenings for our neighbor-nights. we play games, watch movies, and generally de-stress before a week of work or school. it's a really good system.

anyway, i was minding my own business, and suddenly, around 4 p.m., i had a MASSIVE headache! it just came out of nowhere, and it invaded my brain, and it hurt real bad. i tried taking ibuprofen, i tried massaging my temples. nothing. then, i realized that i hadn't had coffee all weekend! because coffee is free at work and it's comforting to use as a wake-up in the morning. i sleep in on the weekends, and i am usually too lazy to make myself coffee (my husband doesn't drink it).

to remedy the headache, i had one small cup of coffee. about half a mug. and then the headache melted away.

this headache came at around the same time every sunday for a month.

then, i had the brilliant idea of preventing the headache by drinking a cup of coffee this past sunday morning. voila! no headache. :)

except now, i know that i am addicted to caffeine in the form of coffee. i think i'm switching to decaf. i'll let you know how that goes.

dreams

2010-05-05T18:28:00.000-04:00

a co-worker and i had a fun little conversation today about dreaming of being at work or dreaming of work-related stuff. please, please feel free to add your own comments on this one! i would love to hear about your crazy work dreams.

this co-worker of mine dreamed about a man who had called yesterday and yelled at her for a supervisor. in the dream, he called back and yelled some more. hmmm...

according to www.dreammoods.com:

Man
To see a man in your dream, denotes the masculine aspect of yourself - the side that is assertive, rational, aggressive, and/or competitive. If the man is known to you, then the dream may reflect you feelings and concerns you have about him.
If you are a woman and dream that you are in the arms of a man, suggests that you are accepting and welcoming your stronger assertive personality . It may also highlight your desires to be in a relationship and your image of the ideal man.
To see an old man in your dream, represents wisdom or forgiveness. The old man may be a archetypal figure who is offering guidance to some daily problem.

Telephone
To see or hear a telephone in your dream, signifies a message from your unconscious or some sort of telepathic communication. You may be forced to confront issues which you have tried to avoid. Alternatively, the telephone represents your communication and relationship with others.
To dream that you do not want to answer the ringing telephone, indicates lack of communication. There is a situation or relationship that you are tying to keep at a distance.
To dream that you are having a telephone conversation with someone your know, signifies an issue that you need to confront with that person. This issue may have to do with letting go some part of yourself.

Yelling

To dream that you or someone is yelling, represents repressed anger that need to be expressed. If you are yelling and no one hears, then it suggests that you are being ignored. You feel that your voice does not matter or that your opinion doesn't count.

in waking life, this person is on day 9 without a cigarette. quitting is tough, and she hasn't caved once! so, good job. ok, here's my interpretation of this dream:

she picked up the phone, which means she has a desire to communicate. the person is yelling, so there is repressed anger there, so she's wanting to communicate anger. it was an angry man, so that makes sense. ummm...

maybe she was just stressed out by the yelling man on the phone.

i have had dreams about work and working on our computer system. during the first few months of marriage, my husband would come to bed after me and think i was awake and ask me a question. i would answer, barely conscious, that he needed a claim form or that the system was something... being a wonderful and caring husband, he asked another question -- just so that i would keep talking nonsense. now, i know there are those HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability & Accountability Act) privacy laws, so i hope i didn't mention anybody's PII (Personal Identifiable Information) or PHI (Personal Health Information), because that would be bad. but actually, i wasn't fully conscious. would that hold up in court?

The Office quote of the week: "Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name? Creed Bratton." -- Creed

tonight is another meeting of The Finer Things Club! we will be discussing Les Miserables. most of us read the movie and are planning to watch the book eventually. i admit, i only got to page 200-something. but i did watch the movie with Liam Neeson. but i keep thinking Uma Thurman when i read about Fantine... and i don't want that.

minimalism

2010-05-03T18:59:00.000-04:00

the cool, new thing in the office is minimalism. so, in the spirit of minimalism, i'm sharing these really cool links:

http://www.becomingminimalist.com/

http://zenhabits.net/

also, i've de-cluttered my office and especially my desk. it's pretty much like a breath of fresh air to have my desk free of clutter. i'm also trying to only work on one thing at a time. i've heard that multitasking isn't really productive. and it's so stressful!

i also spent saturday morning attempting to de-clutter my apartment, including dusting all surfaces, especially focusing on the bedroom, which has been ignored for far too long. simple organization is so freeing.

oh, and i've been into yoga lately. i'm just borrowing dvd's from the library, taking half an hour or so in the morning to stretch and pray so i can face the day. i'm a little disappointed in the choices netflix has to offer, but i sure do love my library.

speaking of praying, i'm doing this 40 Days of Prayer thing with my small group. it's already Day 9, but if you're interested, comment to this post with your email address and i'll forward the stuff to you!

song of the day: "i still haven't found what i'm looking for" by U2. for the time when Sue was looking for an email and, as far as i know, she still hasn't found what she was looking for!

The Fire

2010-04-30T19:00:00.000-04:00

why yes, this place is more like The Office every day! thank you for asking.

on wednesday, someone's heating pad was in the microwave and caught fire. unfortunately, someone realized it and put the fire out. so there was no emergency evacuation because of fire alarms, no fire truck, and no games of Desert Island. i mean, not unfortunately. because that would have been bad.

apparently, it smelled like burnt death all day. and then someone made a valiant effort with some air freshener. then it just smelled like burnt death and berries.

for the record, my top 5 movies to bring on a desert island are as follows (in no particular order):

dead poets society
newsies
sleeping beauty
the princess bride
the lord of the rings trilogy (can that count as one movie?)

sixlets

2010-04-21T18:20:00.000-04:00

my current tweet/facebook status:

"just discovered what was missing in my 24 years of life: sixlets. http://www.oldtimecandy.com/sixlets.htm"

pretty much, this is good stuff. apparently, sixlets are nostalgic for people, but i don't think i've ever had them before today! my one co-worker thinks sixlets are better than M&Ms. i'm going to have to test each one for quality of chocolate flavor and satisfyingness. i think that i will be a more un-biased judge, seeing as i have no nostalgic obligation to the sixlets but i'm also very open to new experiences of chocolate.

so far, the sixlets are crunchier, so the crunch is satisfying, but i'm not so sure about the flavor. i think that the flavor of the sixlets could use a little more chocolate and a little less candy shell flavor. and they definitely taste different depending on the color of shell you choose to eat. the orange ones definitely have an orange flavor. again, i'm not sure it this is a good thing. it does add more variety, if you're into that. me, i'm a purist.

in summary:

sixlets

satisfying crunch
variety of flavors
less chocolatey

M&Ms

less crunchy
more chocolatey
consistent, dependable flavor
Abby's choice

blame

2010-04-14T14:57:00.012-04:00

somehow, the sun is out being sunny and everyone seems to be down this whole week. i would blame it on the weather, which is usually my solid go-to when i need to blame something, but the sun has been out all week.

never fear, though! i have a theory. actually, it's several small theories that amount to one big theory (not to be confused with the big bang theory, which isn't really a theory but a tv show).

we were spoiled by the heat wave from a couple weeks ago. suddenly, it's sunny but not so warm. it's such a letdown.

also, all of the fun springtime allergies are kicking in. that, plus the change of seasons (apparently, they are two different causes -- two sicknesses, if you will) is giving everyone major allergy symptoms. it's hard to be chipper when you head is clogged and/or aching.

um. so really, it's just two points in my theory. but i think i'm right. does anyone else have any opinions they'd like to share?

april fools day 2010

2010-04-01T16:30:00.006-04:00

this was the best april fools day i have ever experienced. EVER.

the morning started as soon as the earliest early birds attempted to clock in for work. i say "attempted" because they couldn't! for some reason, about half the company's mice would not work. this was hours before i had walked in the door, so i had no clue how the chain reaction actually went down. i do know our IT guy stayed late the night before to run some end of the month reports, and so he was one of the first to be blamed, but it didn't end there. i'm told that i was even suspected, since i'm the late shift supervisor. people even checked this blog! i'm so flattered. but of course, if i had planned a diabolical april fools prank, i would have waited until AFTER the prank completed its full life cycle before writing about it. anyway, when i walked in, people had already retaliated against the person they thought had been the culprit. that person was not me, and they were not happy. and they told me about it.

as is his daily routine, my manager took his 10am smoke break. big mistake. as an ode to the episode of The Office where JAM hides Andy's phone in the ceiling, we hid someone's cell phone in the ceiling directly above said manager's desk. unfortunately, it did not ring with an annoying a cappella version of "Rockin' Robin." but it was still really good. i will let my Twitter updates recap this one:

long weekend, getting out early: definitely a good day for an#aprilfools joke. ;)5:30 AM Apr 1st via web

news alert! my manager has lost his bouncy ball. we're all being interrogated. if it was you, please return it.6:28 AM Apr 1st via API

ok, he's now hearing music in his office and he can't find the source...6:31 AM Apr 1st via web

now he's checking the server room for the source of the music...6:36 AM Apr 1st via API

alright really, who has the bouncy ball? he's taken the phone hostage (found it in the ceiling) and wants the bouncy ball for ransom.7:09 AM Apr 1st via API

update: phone #2 was found playing the theme from The Office and returned unharmed. phone #1 is still being held for ransom.8:50 AM Apr 1st via API

RT @narbhflaith: Every day, every moment is a blessing. Especially with the way this office does April Fools!#fb9:13 AM Apr 1st via Chromed Bird

RT @alyankovic: As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”11:02 AM Apr 1st via Chromed Bird

so, that's how it went down. phone #2 was mine, and i knew he would find it taped to the bottom of his chair, but it was good closure, what with the Office prank and then the Office theme song. :) i just couldn't help myself. we eventually found the black bouncy ball sitting on a desk in the department. he must have left it there earlier in the morning and forgot. once found, someone typed out a ransom note saying, "we have the black bouncy ball. we are willing to exchange it for the phone. please leave the phone at the drop spot and you will get your ball back." the "drop spot" was explained as the counter by the back door to the bathroom. he was extremely stubborn about not giving the phone back and sacrificing the bouncy ball forever, if that's what it took. he ended up giving it back before his lunch break.

but then, while he was out of the department doing something, we all had a brilliant idea!

and now for the big finish! most of customer service's phone hidden around our manager's office, all called at the same time! what a noise!11:21 AM Apr 1st via Chromed Bird

as the Supervisor, i thoroughly approved of this as a team building exercise. morale in Customer Service is high, and laughter is good for the soul.

my birthday!

2010-03-19T18:58:00.006-04:00

today was my birthday celebration in the department. yay! so, special thanks going out to my customer service peeps for thinking of me! a couple of honorable mentions:

caitlin - for bringing in really awesome buffalo chicken dip. yum.
the party planning committee - for planning another great excuse to pig out!
miss judy - for finding a card with my name on it!
audie - for decorating my office and giving me these beautiful flowers!

ok, these aren't the actual flowers. but they're close! and even prettier because they have a little red on the outside petals.

so, in honor of my birthday...

The Office quote of the day:

[after blowing out his candles]

Michael Scott: I asked for trick candles.
Dwight: Pam was supposed to get 'em.
Michael Scott: Ok. Well, when she comes back we'll do it again.

how to land a job

2010-03-16T18:33:00.004-04:00

it's that time again! the customer service department is hiring, and i realize that i have enough experience with this process to put some important tips out there. so, if you're reading this and you've been recently laid off and need a new job, please take the advice of someone who has spent a lot of time reviewing resumes, interviewing, and training new hires. this is the real world. put on your grown-up pants!

applying for the job

write your resume.

make sure there are no spelling errors.
check your grammar.
keep formatting consistent. if you're listing your jobs in bold, list all of your jobs in bold.
make sure your phone number is on the resume.
re-check grammar, spelling, and formatting.

if there is an application to fill out, answer all the questions.

interview day

show up. (you'd be surprised at how many people find this step difficult.)
smile.
answer every question. if "i don't know" is your answer, make up an answer.
look interested.
ask at least one question. if you don't have any questions, make one up.

date of hire!

show up. (again, this one is often missed, but it's crucial to having a job.)
try. or at least look like you're trying.

texting or checking your personal email while you're supposed to be training does not look like trying.
taking notes does look like trying.

come back the next day. repeat.

anything i'm missing? feel free to comment and add your own!

frequently misspelled word of the day - misspell

fun abbreviation of the day - CID - Consider It Done

please respond

2010-03-12T18:17:00.000-05:00

i've been tired lately. too tired to think of interesting thinks. what should i write about?

2 Office-like stories

2010-03-04T19:00:00.082-05:00

oh man, tonight is The Delivery episode of The Office. only two hours. my sister is bring over her knitting club, and my neighbors are coming over, too. it'll be a full house, but i like it that way. i know they're a fictitious couple, but congrats to Jim and Pam on the scheduled birth of their baby! (hey, that's pretty realistic to me. i mean, preggo #2 in our office had her appointment at 7am and she's still on maternity leave - shout out!)

ok, our Office-like story today is about a call taken by a Customer Service Rep that will not be named (but we'll say it's a girl, since the probability of this rep being a female is just that high. if you work in an office, you know i'm right).

this poor girl took the call at 10 minutes till 5pm. anybody in customer service dreads taking calls right before the end of the day, hoping that the odds fall in their favor and the caller has all their information ready and only has one question. well, this was the other kind of call. it was about 10 after 5pm when she asked me to take over the call, since she really needed to go. i understand wanting to leave at the end of your shift (last night, my phone rang with one minute to go. nice woman, tons of questions. 10 minutes.)

i took the call. i was a little scared already, since this girl was either laughing or crying, which was causing the other of the two. i wasn't sure of the cause, and that makes a difference in how you want to answer. and then i answered. and i couldn't help myself. i had to hit the mute button just in case my laugh actually vocalized. although, i was warned. when transferring the call, the rep said, "country." i should have listened better. but i couldn't understand more than 2 words at a time. have you ever talked to someone who slurs together their words so badly that "a" and "i" sound the same? i have.

bonus Office-y story!
i just remembered this, which happened yesterday. i went to make a new pot of coffee in the kitchen. i was talking to a couple people in there, so i was distracted (not an excuse, just a description of facts).

anyway, i went to make half a pot of coffee because it was 4pm, most of the office was leaving but since i work a later shift, i wanted some coffee with the half-cookie i had vultured from the kitchen when the visiting company was done with their Panera-catered lunch. yum. so, in the process of making coffee and talking at the same time, i half-filled up our little pitcher with water from the sink. and then i went over and poured it into the coffeemaker.

yeah, i forgot to empty the old coffee out of the pot.
yeah, i forgot to replace the filter and put new coffee grounds in.
but wait - there's more!

so the person i was talking with comes to help. together, we manage to take the old coffeepot from its place in the coffeemaker, allowing the water -- which is running through the old coffee grounds -- to spill onto the table on which the coffeemaker is sitting, and throw the old coffee grounds into a bowl that had just been washed. utter chaos for about 3 minutes, while we run out of paper towels and get more, and clean up the re-dirtied bowl.

in the end, i did do it the right way and got my well-deserved cup of coffee. so, happy ending. :)

word of yesterday: fictitious

word of today: "atchit" - pronounced like "hatchet" without the "h" and tacked on to the end of a verb. as in, "Google-atchit."

another bathroom post

2010-03-02T19:00:00.036-05:00

our bathrooms now have automatic soap and paper towel dispensers. this is pretty cool, except that it breaks up your whole bathroom flow!

soap (automatic)
water (not automatic)
paper towel (automatic)

so then you feel stupid because you put your hand into the sink, and the soap dispenser attacks it with foam, and then you move your hand a little to the right, thinking that the water will come out automatically, and then you realize you're staring at the faucet and nothing's happening.

this automatic soap dispenser is feisty, too. as soon as you turn the water on, it attacks your hand again! and then, while you're washing your hands, it tries again!

but i think it's ok. i figure, it's like the fire swamp in The Princess Bride -- it makes a noise before it tries to get you, so you know it's coming. at least there's a warning.

dog name of the day: foofoo (might be spelled fufu, but i don't care enough.)

i'm really tired. my drive axle is in the processing of breaking, and it's going to cost almost $500 to fix. i got ok'd for overtime, but these 10 hour days are killing me -- and i've only done two in a row! my plan for tonight after dinner is to make a good cup of tea and settle down with a novel that doesn't make me think too hard.

Office moment of the day: discussing dress code in a meeting, one of the supervisors started laughing and said, "sorry, i just got an image in my head from The Office!" to which the COO responds, "we are not having casual fridays."

i really do like the people i work with.

what a disappointing pretzel day

2010-03-01T19:00:00.000-05:00

so, here's what went wrong with my master plan:

first, the new girl didn't start today. apparently, she starts next monday. i just wasn't told. so, absolutely 0% chance of her going to the beet farm or egging a building.

there were no toppings for the pretzels!! in fact, there was nobody guarding the pretzels at all. they were in a box on a table in a conference room that nobody knew about until today. i even came in early today! i was so excited. the pretzels were supposed to arrive at 9:30am. it turned 11am, and then somebody found out they were down the hall, past the men's bathroom. i would like to thank the person who finally found the pretzels. they must have been eagerly searching for them, because there's no need to walk down that corridor past the men's room. if you're a man, you miss it by a few feet. if you're a woman, you're even farther away. and if you've got the munchies, the vending machines aren't even as far down that hall as the men's restroom. so i really wonder how someone found it... unless they were a man (or very observant woman) walking to the restroom, and they happened to notice someone walking out of that room with a pretzel in their hand. they might have asked, or they might have gone to investigate. or, maybe they weren't in need of rest at all, and they were deciding how best to spend $1.25 -- a can of coke or two packs of gum? i think i like this situation better, because the person had a better chance of spotting someone in the know, because a really indecisive person (probably a woman) could stand there for at least 3 minutes and not be conspicuous.

anyway, back to the room without a pretzel topping man. yeah, nobody there. just pretzels -- cold pretzels -- in a box. with some mustard that you could squeeze onto the pretzel, if you so desired. at least there was some variety: they had yellow mustard and Dijon mustard. but nothing else. did i mention that they were cold and just sitting in a box? i could have taken that box and walked away, and nobody would have known! except for my company, because we have security cameras. i'm pretty sure all of the other offices in the building are small and don't have security cameras.

my manager didn't even have a pretzel because he didn't want to break his diet. and i forgot to get him to do a Cosby impression.

not the best day. maybe tomorrow will be better.

word of the day: conspicuous /kənsp'ɪkjuəs/

Synonyms:
adjective: prominent, noticeable, notable, marked, outstanding, striking, salient, obvious

If someone or something is conspicuous, people can see or notice them very easily.ADJ ADJ-GRADED
- Antonym inconspicuous
- The most conspicuous way in which the old politics is changing is in the growing use of referendums.
- You may feel tearful in situations where you feel conspicuous.
- conspicuously ADV ADV-GRADED ADV with v ADV adj
  1. Britain continues to follow U.S. policy in this and other areas where American policies have most conspicuously failed.
  2. Johnston's name was conspicuously absent from the list.
If you say that someone or something is conspicuous by their absence, you are drawing attention to the fact that they are not in a place or situation where you think they should be. PHRASE
- He played no part in the game and was conspicuous by his absence in the post-match celebrations.

Pretzel Day!

2010-02-24T18:14:00.002-05:00

this monday, march 1 is pretzel day in our office complex! i am not making this up. and everybody is looking forward to it.

i'm kind of excited, because we have a new CSR starting on monday, and this makes us look like an awesome company. so, it's kind of cool, because it really is like an initiation! hmmm...

in patterning my office after The Office, the following things need to happen on Pretzel Day:

keep a log of what the manager does all day.
the manager needs to do a Bill Cosby impression. (i think we can pull this off)
the manager needs to get hyped up on sugar after eating his soft pretzel with every possible topping. (this will be more difficult. for one thing, he's on a diet. and also, they probably won't offer different toppings.)
someone steals someone else's chair.
we bring to new girl to the Schrute beet farm for some interrogation/training and wrestling their cousin Mose. (highly improbable)
new girl eggs a building (again, highly improbable)

ok, so 50% of this stuff is actually doable! hooray! i'll give a review of our Pretzel Day next week.

The Office quotes of the day:

Pam Beesly: Once a year they bring in a little cart and they give away free pretzels. It's really not a big deal. [pause] To some people it is.

Stanley: 364 days... 'til the next Pretzel Day.

the day after a holiday

2010-02-16T19:00:00.001-05:00

the day after a holiday is always really, really busy here in customer service. for those of you who ever want to call a customer service/call center, please don't do it on the day after a holiday. you'd just be thinking like everybody else, and you don't want to be like the herd, do you? you want to be unique, so you should really call at a random time like 9:12 or 2:45. please please please don't call at 4:30. everybody does that. or even worse, 4:55. and then have a huge issue you want to resolve right now. it's not cool. and it just might land you on the naughty list.

also, i looked up "President's Day" on Google. i hadn't realized it used to be called "Washington's Birthday." hm.

quote of the day:
"i'll keep an eye out for that fax and call you if there's any issue with it."
"well good, 'cause we're poor over here!"
(how does a person respond to that?)

song of the day: "battlefield" by jordin sparks.
i don't know. it's been in my head since i heard it in home depot the other day, and today really felt like a battlefield. i think that's reason enough.

SNOW!!!

2010-02-12T18:45:00.000-05:00

the company was closed on wednesday due to the massive blizzard that came through on tuesday night and lasted all of wednesday. =D the snow had stopped by thursday, but my parking lot was a game of bumper cars just waiting to happen. my husband didn't let me go to work. so i took my first vacation day of the year. i'm ok with that. i've worked three days this week and have had 3 weekends in 10 days! monday is a holiday... i forget if President's Day is for a certain president, or past presidents, or the current president. oh well.

also, sunday is valentine's day!! Customer Service had a little V-Day celebration (as much as was possible in a terribly busy day because of all the catch-up work). last night was a Valentine's Day episode of The Office. well, it was an episode of The Office that acknowledged Valentine's Day. close enough. although, i wish they had played out Jim as the manager for at least another episode or two... so much tension, it would have been awesome!

office quote of the day: "a spinning brain is a working brain."

word of the day: pacifically

pacific - relating to or bordering the Pacific Ocean; "Pacific islands"
pacific - disposed to peace or of a peaceful nature; "the pacific temper seeks to settle disputes on grounds of justice rather than by force"; "a quiet and peaceable person"; "in a peaceable and orderly manner"
pacific - the largest ocean in the world
pacific - promoting peace; "the result of this pacific policy was that no troops were called up"

how being born is kinda like a hangover

2010-02-04T18:30:00.002-05:00

i don't drink. i don't like the taste of alcohol, and every time i try it, i remember how much i don't like it. my husband is allergic to it, so that just drives the nail into the coffin of my would-be drinking habit.

so, it kind of goes without saying that i've never been drunk. but i guess it should be said. apparently, i'm in the minority, but i'm banking on that. because it will make my new theory all the more hilarious. are you ready?

here it is: being born is like a hangover.
(remember, i've never experienced a hangover, and i've never really seen a hangover first-hand, so this is entirely put together from movies and co-workers' stories. feel free to comment and/or tag yourselves.)

where is this coming from? and what does it have to do with the office? well, today pregnant lady #2 had her bouncing baby boy today! and boy does the picture say a few things. maybe not a thousand words, but here's what it told me: "man, why are the lights so bright? and why is everybody so loud? i hate this! i feel like crap, and i look like it, too. and all i want to do it go back to sleep!"

so, am i right? does that sound like a hangover? because bouncing baby boy is actually not bouncing at all. he looks angry.

anyway, i miss my friend. we're both seniors in our department and we've seen a lot of crazy stuff. and thus, the inspiration for the office quote of the day:

Oscar: Pam and Jim are on their honeymoon, so there's not the usual balance between sane and others. Toby has mentally checked out since June. It's a very dangerous time. The coalition for reason is extremely weak.

NEW episode of The Office on tonight!! and i must admit, i did chuckle when i read this on Twitter from @theofficenbc: #TheOffice is back! Don't miss tonight's ALL NEW episode "Sabre" - yes, we really mean all new - at 9/8c!

bathroom upgrade

2010-01-27T18:59:00.001-05:00

today, the office restrooms got a little makeover -- in the form of automatic soap dispensers! plus, a few weeks ago, they upgraded on the paper towel quality, which was so nice! it doesn't rip, and i don't have to use as much...

is it weird that we get excited over these things?

tomorrow, a new episode of The Office! :)

word of the day: guesstimation

so many crazy people in the world!!

2010-01-21T18:33:00.001-05:00

some of my favorite quotes from emails or calls that happened today:

"five minutes ago i could see, but now i'm blind."
"ok, but is it lupus?"
"crack -- you know, it's a drug?"
"ok, please explain to me how a chair caused your abdominal pain that made you go to the ER..."

and here's a fun conversation:

rep: "i can't just sit in silence while you think of a question. it's tying up the line. can you call back when you think of something?"
caller: "ok, you don't like silence?" *starts singing* (and it sounds an awful lot like the Little Mermaid -- "ahh aahhh")
rep after the call: "the little mermaid gave me contractions!"

yesterday's song of the day: "if you want to be happy for the rest of your life" by jimmy soul

we had tons of fun yesterday trying to figure out the lyrics before some brilliant person Googled them.

i did have a song of the day for today, but now i can't think of it because of that catchy song about marrying ugly women... any help? it might have been the "chicken noodle soup" song we discovered today. apparently, there's a dance.

in other news, The Office comes back on tonight! i can't wait. i'm inviting a ton of people over, i'm going to be knitting the Gryffindor scarf i've been working on, and i'm going to take notes for tomorrow's blog! ok, maybe not the last one.

the adventures of cat and the ceiling

2010-01-20T17:20:00.003-05:00

today's episode is titled "The Adventures of Cat and the Ceiling" because of a very special co-worker and her ongoing struggle with the area directly above her desk.

first, there was the bug incident, in which dead bugs were allegedly falling from the air vent. if you will recall, that was the day that a certain higher-up in the company -- and not just one maintenance man -- got up on a ladder to investigate. (that particular day is also the reason i now bring my camera to work with me every day.)

second, there is the ever-popular fight with the temperature (too hot or too cold, again because of the air vent). but i'm told that this is a constant debate whenever there are women working in an office.

also, according to Toby on The Office, everyone
should bring a cardigan or sweater to work in
case of drafts... i prefer my blanket, as it is much
more comfortable and fun.

today, it was the light, which is not the air vent but they must be in cahoots, since they sit right next to each other in the ceiling -- both directly above the desk in question. the light must have wanted some drama, because it recently started flickering and nearly caused seizures for at least one office worker (not really). so, again with the ladder and maintenance men in our department. and now there's one very bright ceiling light.

quote of yesterday: "i apologize for your suffering."

quote of the day: "i might have the baby tomorrow if she keeps it up."

---
update: there is pizza box in the kitchen with half a pizza if anybody wants it...

angry mama bear

2010-01-15T17:39:00.000-05:00

today, i was threatened... but in a nice way. i wasn't quite sure how to take it. the caller was an angry mama-bear type, and i think we must have attacked her cub or something, because she was definitely provoked. allow me to add this image to your mental picture:

so, mama bear was provoked but her natural good-natured self was still intact. she smiled the whole time. (you can hear that kind of thing on the phone.) it was a simple threat: "You should be happy I don't live anywhere near you." i didn't quite know how to react to that.

today's song of the day is inspired by today's Office quote of the day, which comes from the episode i watched last night, "A Benihana Christmas."

The Office quote of the day:

Andy:	So she looks really hot, so I said, 'you look hotter than usual today.' [...] So, she looks at me right? And she goes, 'I'm sorry, do I even know you?' After a year! A year of buying lattes from her. Do you believe that?
Jim Halpert:	Yes.

song of the day: "taylor the latte boy" by kristin chenoweth, whom i love.

variety is the spice of life

2010-01-13T13:00:00.000-05:00

the beginning of the year is always really hectic. so, to spice things up, i've been going to work every day in search of one funny story to come home with. i think this will be my new mission in my office life, and i will document it in this blog. yesterday's was a good one.

one of our customer service reps had asked a caller to send in a written description of their injury. (apparently, he had been chasing his friends in the snow and ran into a tree.) all we needed was a letter or email from this person for his files, and he decided to email pictures as well.

it would be a violation of tons of laws to post those pictures here, so a description of each of the three pictures will have to suffice:

the first picture is of a young man sitting up on a couch with his legs stretched forward. he looks to be in conversation with someone off-camera, so this is a candid shot. it's kind of hard to tell what's going on or if there's even an injury. he doesn't look to be in pain...
the second picture is of him making a face. again, it's a candid shot, and this time it looks like he might be in pain, but it could also be that's he's acting out a spanish soap opera scene where he was just told that his best friend is missing in the Himalayas; maybe he's whining about not being able to reach the snacks on the coffee table. it's hard to tell. there is still no sign of injury...
third is the money shot. his ankle is swollen like two apples on either side, and his foot is pretty swollen, too. if there had to be a picture, this would suffice. but really, all we needed was the date and description of injury.

today's "variety is the spice of life" item is a secret. it's a dumb secret, but i'm still not allowed to let anyone know. it's a secret between me and the guy in IT (aka Jim Halpert).

ooh! also today, my manager went to the mall (the big one, i think you know which one) for lunch, and i realized that the food court has a Chick-Fil-A, which has the best waffle fries EVER. i'm pretty sure fries are one of my top 3 favorite foods, along with lasagna and chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven with milk. but i digress. i gave him some money and asked him to get me some of those amazing waffle fries, but then i remembered how much i like their wraps with thousand island dressing, and then i thought i might as well get the whole meal... yup, Chick-Fil-A lunch definitely makes it a fun day.

also, one of our reps just spoke to a woman who fell down a well.

TGIF!

2010-01-08T18:59:00.000-05:00

ok, the song of the day is "One Way Or Another" because of reasons i can't disclose here. feel free to call me, though. it will give me an excuse to use my new phone that i love. or we could play the "yes" game, as Pam likes to call it: you ask me yes or no questions and i answer until you figure it out. :)

i'm currently listening to Hanson's Middle of Nowhere album. i'm not ashamed. it pretty much fits the mood of the day, which is a little nutty and a little manic, all rolled into one entity.

so, now that it's 2010, i have to get a new naughty/nice list. my 2009 list is all filled up on the naughty side. it's kind of nice to look at my list just one week into the new year and see only two names on the naughty list. yup, two people have verbally abused at least one Customer Service Rep enough to be placed on the naughty list. expect your lumps of coal in 12 months and 2 1/2 weeks.

speaking of verbal abuse, one caller today had the audacity to say that a person shouldn't be a customer service rep if they can't deal with verbal abuse. well, not in those words, but that was the jist of it. why do people think it's ok to verbally abuse a perfect stranger over the phone?

MLIA of the day: Today, I discovered that instead of the usual "medium" size label on my pants, the tag said "average". MPAA.

a sticky situation

2010-01-07T18:57:00.000-05:00

this morning in the kitchen, there was a free treat! some sort of pie-crusted, danish-topped treat. two co-workers were in the kitchen discussing it with lots of "yums" and such.

a third co-worker popped his head in the kitchen and said it sounded like an X-rated film in there.

what a crazy place.

today, i switched my default printer to the front one instead of the back to mix it up a little.

also, there was an insurance questionnaire that one of our customers filled out. the question was PPO or HMO? they answered "idk."

word of the day: cacophonous /kək'ɒfənəs/
If you describe a mixture of sounds as cacophonous, you mean that they are loud and unpleasant.

currently reading: The Kite Runner

the finer things club met last night. we discussed The Lovely Bones. interesting conversations about death, heaven, and being pregnant...

a New Year's prank

2009-12-31T15:49:00.003-05:00

today, we received an email from the Vice President of Operations stating that we would be closing early today, at 4:00. almost everybody in Customer Service responded to his email with something to the effect of, "don't you mean 3:00?"

his response:

"I did not have anything to drink yet. It appears that you all must be hitting the sauce early. I clearly stated 4pm!"

Happy New Year's Eve, you crazy people.

fraud meeting

2009-12-29T12:35:00.000-05:00

a couple of weeks ago, we had an anti-fraud meeting. bad enough that it was a meeting, but it was a conference called meeting! one where a whole bunch of different offices were listening to these men speak, and we had to just sit there and listen. i mean, there was a powerpoint-like presentation, but it was dark and i was so tempted to bring my knitting... but maybe that's unprofessional and distracting to the people who can actually see me.

as usual, i took notes. i realize this about myself: i have to be contantly doing something with my hands. i can't just sit. i'm usually typing, writing, or knitting. if i'm not doing something productive like that, i'm picking at my nails. i've tried to break this bad habit by painting my nails and always having knitting or a pen with me... i think it's working. but i digress.

notes from the fruad meeting:

at least 3 people seemed to be nodding off, and that's just what i could see from where i was sitting. (it was dark and boring. i don't blame them.)
interesting word choices:

stringently
verbage
golden nuggets
counterparts (as in, "my counterparts")
smoking gun
remuneration

frequently used words:

subsequently - 5 times
interestingly - 7 times

interesting quotes:

"if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, then it probably is a duck."
"we're not talking about jail here folks. we're talking about actual prison time."

after about an hour, we were kicked out because i got a little antsy and started bouncing in my seat. the second part of the presentation didn't apply to my department at all, and i had had two cups of coffee that morning... a higher-up in the Company said to my manager and i, "you guys can go. this doesn't really appy to you." then she looked at me bouncing in my chair and said in a very annoyed voice, "stop that!" hehehehe. put a smile on my face for the rest of the day.

A Christmas Parody

2009-12-18T11:41:00.000-05:00

today is our company Christmas party! we get to leave work at 1pm, go to a great pub about 5 minutes away, and enjoy our co-workers as real people.

last year's Christmas party was fun. i wrote a parody of "O Tannenbaum." we had a different receptionist back then, but everything else is still the same...

O ACI, O ACI
How random is your receptionist!
She backs up Eligibility,
ClaimsPPOMailroom... and anything Customer Service-y.
O ACI, O ACI
How random is your receptionist!

O ACI, O ACI,
How patient are your CSRs!
They listen to those angry folks,
Who got something... but they don't know.
O ACI, O ACI,
How patient are your CSRs!

O ACI, O ACI,
How lovely are your Examiners!
They put up with so many things,
Like Customer Service's questionings.
O ACI, O ACI,
How lovely are your Examiners!

O ACI, O ACI,
How manic are your Managers!
They run around, trying to find
That large claim file - It must be signed!
O ACI, O ACI,
how manic are your Managers!

that's as far as I got before our food arrived. this year, i've challenged my manager to a parody-off. we're going to each write a Christmas song parody, and whoever makes up the better song wins. it's on like Donkey Kong.

Christmas countdown: 2 weeks!!!

2009-12-07T19:01:00.000-05:00

there is a stinkbug in my ceiling light. and it's buzzing and jumping around in there. i keep feeling like it's going to fall through the ceiling onto my head, even though the light is on the other side of my office (which makes it sound like a big office, but i assure you, it's really not).

so, i realized today that i have 2 weeks until Christmas. that's 2 weeks to make the following gifts:

13 hats/scarves for my customer service co-workers (in lieu of doing the Pollyanna, which would have been much easier).
6 baskets of homemade raspberry jam (already done and cooling from last night!) and bread (yet to be made) for our extended families (1 per family).
5 or so miscellaneous tea cozies (to fit on the mugs i got from the thrift store at 5 cents each! and then some peppermint tea bags and hot chocolate packets from redner's to go with the mugs.)

oi. i mean, the tea cozies take a half-hour each (maybe less), and the hats take about an hour each... i'm not being fussy about the scarves either: simply knit, no extra fancy stuff. (maybe next year?)

finally!

2009-12-01T18:02:00.000-05:00

apologies to those who have been waiting almost a month for a new entry! i've been both busy and bored, so there's been no time or topics to write.

while i was away, pregnant girl #1 (out of 4, by the way) had her little baby boy!!! i love love love him. about 2 weeks early, but he was getting too big anyway, so it's good that he came just in time for Thanksgiving.

so, how was everyone's Thanksgiving? mine was fun. thane and i went to my parents wednesday night and left thursday night (to avoid the crazies). wednesday night was fun because my sister's boyfriend was over and we all taught him how to play mah jong. and i really mean all of us: grandmother, mother, sister, and i. at the same time. have you ever seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding? yeah, it was a little like that, except it would have been really like that if all our crazy Filipino relatives were there, all yelling at the same time. i mean, that's how my sister and i learned. but then thane came to the rescue to let "the American teach the American."

ok, so it's not really an Office-y post, but there's really not much to update on that side. we're all just waiting for Christmas. we all have little stockings, and we put up our Customer Service insta-tree today. :)

countdown to Christmas: 24 days

quote of the day: "you're not customer service! you're customer unservice!"

currently reading: Mossflower by Brian Jacques (listening to the audio book during my 40 minute commute), Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling (before bed), and Connecting by Larry Crabb (whenever i feel like it, taking notes in my journal)

our president is bad to the bone

2009-11-05T17:28:00.000-05:00

why yes, that is our president shampooing the carpets. last week, she was opening mail, because that was a priority and needed to get done.

and that's why i don't mind working here much, much longer than i had ever intended to.

more bathroom encounters

2009-11-04T18:50:00.001-05:00

story #1: earlier today, i went to the bathroom. (actually, i went to the bathroom a lot today, because i've been drinking a ton of water, because i'm sick. but maybe that's tmi. forgive me, i'm on ibuprophen at the moment, and i think it's making me just a bit loopy. but this is about one specific trip -- to the bathroom, not a drug reference. ok, back to the story.)

on my way to the bathroom, i noticed a woman walking from the opposite end of the corridor toward me. (the ladies' room is about halfway between the two far ends of the hallway.) she was listening to an iPod, which i thought was strange, since usually only young people listen to their iPods all the time, even on trips to the restroom.

anyway, i went in to the bathroom, and when i came back out (after washing my hands with warm, soapy water for 20 seconds to prevent swine flu), i saw the same woman walking toward the bathroom, listening to her iPod, only she was about 5 feet closer to the bathroom than when i had gone into it.

oh my goodness, i seriously thought i had time warped, that the door to the bathroom must have been some kind of portal to a wormhole and when i walked back out through the door, it spit me back into our dimension but 5 seconds of time had gone by instead of a few minutes! then i noticed that she was walking up and down the corridor. it must have been her lunch or something. but it was a gorgeous day out today, and i would have been doing that outside if i was her. but i'm not. and i don't have an iPod.

story #2: co-worker trish told me this story after she came back from the bathroom about half an hour ago. she walked out to the ladies' room. as she approached the door, one of the cleaning guys (the one she says looks like the red stapler guy from Office Space) came out of the very same women's restroom. not holding anything, no trash in hand, nothing. maybe he just likes the aroma of the citrus air freshener in there or something.

anyway, trish chose her stall and sat down. then she heard the door open again, and then there was a thud. a mop head slid under the little door, invaded her stall, stopped, and then retreated. the door opened and closed, and when she left the bathroom (after washing her hands with warm, soapy water for 20 seconds while singing "happy birthday" to herself twice to prevent swine flu), the cleaning guy had disappeared.

word of the day is still vicarious.

i'm not going to the finer things club tonight, due to a micommunication with my darling husband about plans. oh well. it's ok, i wasn't too into Atonement anyway. so,
currently reading: Connecting by Larry Crabb

tonight's world series game, i will be voting for the phillies.

sock thief

2009-11-02T17:58:00.000-05:00

ok, i didn't have time to write about this last week, but it's just a really funny story.

one of our CSRs keeps slippers under her desk. (i'm ok with that. makes work a little more enjoyable and a little less confining. working in an office makes you appreciate little things like that.) well, she had taken off her boots and put them aside, and she had also taken off her socks. to let the socks air out, she hung them over the trash bin under her desk. whatevs.

along came the cleaning lady. now, according to a later account by an actual witness, the cleaning lady stood there for a little while, just staring at the floor before she cleaned out this particular trash bin. in hindsight, i guess this is acceptable. she must have been thinking, "oh no. this was not part of my training." but probably in Spanish. and what would you have done? most people don't like feet or things that touch feet, and it was cleaner to just take the edges of the trash bag and let the socks drop into the bag. (fyi, however, i am not one of those people. i think feet are beautiful, and i feel really bad for them because most people take them for granted and then hate them on top of that.) so, there was a dilemma, and it took a while, but a decision was made. no turning back now. exit cleaning lady.

enter sockless customer service rep.
enter awkward moment.

word of the day (and, really, the whole weekend): vicarious

currently reading: Atonement by Ian McEwan for The Finer Things Club, which is meeting this Wednesday. i'm only about 1/5 of the way through it. meh.

the injury

2009-10-28T11:40:00.000-04:00

this morning, i came in to work and heated up water (in the hot pot that sits on the credenza in my office) for tea. i went out to say good morning to everyone, and when i came back in to my office, the water was boiling. i don't even know what i was doing or how i did it, but i reached my left hand behind the hot pot (i think i was setting something down behind it) and burned my wrist from the steam coming out of the hot pot! how in the world these things happen to me... i guess i'm really just that clumsy.

quick story: before this nice, cushy office job, i worked in a factory manufactured coaxial cables. one morning, i went to reach behind a solder pot to get some papers, and i let my right hand fall onto the opening of the solder pot. and burned my palm on some liquid solder. you know, for fun. my only real injury, my only real ER trip, and it was really stupid.

anyway, i held my wrist under cold running water and then put some ice on it.
please don't tell HR.

The Office quote of the day:

Michael Scott: Pam you want to rub butter on my foot?
Pam Beesly: No.
Michael Scott: Pam, please. I have Country Crock.

highlights!

2009-10-22T19:08:00.000-04:00

too many stories. not enough time. but here are today's highlights:

68-year-old woman wants to cancel her insurance policy because it doesn't cover motorcycle accidents.
sugar crashed, then got really, really hyper
the HR lady looked at me like i was crazy.
the office is on tonight!
i sang "total eclipse of the heart" most of today.

conclusion.

2009-10-21T18:10:00.000-04:00

today, i decided that everybody is crazy... and that free cupcakes are the best.

thoughts?

the case of the missing mug

2009-10-20T18:35:00.001-04:00

so, for the past week (about 4 business days), my blue mug that i got from wal-mart has been randomly MIA off and on. i stop by the kitchen pretty regularly around 10:30 each morning, and sometimes it would be there, and sometimes it would be not there.

there's another person in the company who has the exact same model of mug. i figured she was probably taking it hostage, completely oblivious to the switcheroo.

but then i couldn't find my mug for a whole day! i had to feed my coffee addiction, so i killed Mother Earth a little bit by using poisonous styrofoam cups from the kitchen.

then, yesterday, i found my mug on the kitchen counter -- with ice water in it. i walked up to it in a daze (probably from the lack of caffeine/sugar: i mean, my mug is a beast and those little styrofoam cups only just meet my addiction quota), and i said, "is that my mug?" sure enough, the three tiny identifiable scratches rested on the bottom. i said, "that's my mug!" while pointing at it. meanwhile, the kitchen was half-full of people, and one of them took ownership: "i'm sorry! it was in the cupboard, so i thought it was free game. i'll wash it and put it back!" to which i replied, "no, it's ok. i was wanting to get a new one anyway." which is not a lie.

so, last night at wal-mart, i bought a pretty green mug that is non-translucent, so you can't tell how much coffee is in there from any angle; you actually have to look inside the mug. and it's a square on the bottom but a circle on top, and i think that is pretty nifty.

anyway, the mystery is solved and i now have two mugs at my disposal in the office. this has been a pretty productive two days.

song of the day: "horchata" by vampire weekend

Spanish word of the day: ajena/ajeno

encounters in the bathroom

2009-10-16T18:59:00.000-04:00

i took one trip to the bathroom all day today. maybe i'm not drinking enough water. anyway, during my one trip to the bathroom, i encountered a couple of people. it's ok - they were both female.

when i went to open the door, i almost ran into another girl who was coming out. we both stepped back, saying, "oh! sorry!" at the exact same time. yeah, we bonded.

then, a lady and i were washing our hands next to each other, and she said, "ok, you look like you're 12... so, 20s?" and i said, "yeah, 23." then it was kind of awkward.

and those are my bathroom stories for today.

The Bug Situation

2009-10-15T18:25:00.002-04:00

today, thursday, october 15, 2009, will forever be known as "the day of the bug situation." here's what happened:

a bug fell from above onto a customer service rep's shoulder this morning. our office, like most offices in the united states, are mostly female. so, this rep was a female, and she did was most females would do in her situation: she freaked out. apparently, dead bugs fall out of the vent over her head all the time. so her neighbor suggested that there might be dead bugs in her hair. so she threw off her headset and shook out her hair. with the permission of our manager, she called the vice president of the company to investigate. they brought out a ladder, and there was some discussion about moving the vent by switching the ceiling tiles around... why do i never have a camera at times like these??

so, the vice president informed our front desk person that maintance would be stopping by to check out "the bug situation."

cue the maintenance guys, who brought in a ladder of their own and pulled out a little flashlight to check out the scene of the crime.

i cannot believe i left my camera at home!

anyway, we were discussing solutions to this epidemic. this is what we came up with:

hang an upside down umbrella (ella, ella) from the ceiling to catch the intruders. but that's bad luck, so the idea was quickly rejected.
hang a bedsheet to catch the dead bugs before they can contaminate our rep and her stuff. i like this idea because i had a rainbow brite canopy bed when i was young that i absolutely loved. it made me feel like a princess, and all those bright colors must have stimulated my brain to make me into the smart young woman i am today. so, yes, i very much support this plan, especially if the sheet has a pretty pattern on it.
we're open to suggestions if anybody can think of a better idea.

word of the day: ungently

MLIA of the day: Sunday, at church, during the children's sermon the Pastor asked "What do you have to do to go to heaven?" Immediately one kid answers "Die." Everyone burst out laughing for the next five minutes. Greatest children's sermon ever. MLIA

random question of the day: someone brought in red velvet cake with white icing to celebrate the phillies' win on monday. why does red velvet cake make me think of a bleeding armadillo? 10 points to whoever answers this because it's going to drive me crazy until i can remember. it must be from a movie or tv show or book or something...

the wedding

2009-10-13T19:01:00.000-04:00

a few comments on The Office wedding double-episode, "Niagara:"

did anybody else notice that jim's last name was misspelled on the sign for the rehearsal dinner? ("halpret" instead of "halpert")
also! wikipedia already gives you "pam halpert" when you search for "pam beasley"
during the 24 hours after the episode aired, that youtube video got 1 million hits. i know this because my friend watched it right after the episode (which took forever to load, because everybody was doing the same thing, including me!) and then watched it again the next day. 1,000,000.

i think that maybe, when we get married again, we'll dance down the aisle like in the youtube video... (i would have linked the word "video" to the actual youtube video, but they blocked youtube at work a long time ago. but you can get to it by searching for "jk wedding entrance." if you haven't already seen it. loser.)

i often think about how i'd do it next time we get married. definitely will go barefoot again. that was fun. hair down next time. definitely more dancing. (there was no dancing at our first wedding, and that was no fun at all.)

customer service appreciation week

2009-10-08T18:43:00.001-04:00

this week is customer service appreciation week, so we're all writing notes to each other and buying gifts and things. one person made me a sculpture out of paper clips. i like art. that one might be my favorite, but there's still one more day in the week.

speaking of swine flu and mooching free stuff, someone left a bottle of Coke on the kitchen table for more than 24 hours. unlabled. i Sharpied my name on it nice and big and it became mine. one of my co-workers called it "the herpes coke."

also, i was covering the front desk for a bit today, and there was a meeting going on in the board room. when they let out, the one visitor gave back his name tag. i told him it would be worth more if he autographed it so i could sell it on ebay. our fancy company pen wasn't working, so i offered the normal pen on the desk. when he gave the pen back, it no longer had a cap on it. i think he stole the pen cap. (MLIA)

The Office is on tonight! i'm excited; i love weddings, even if they are of the fake TV variety. and really, who doesn't like pam and jim? so, we'll see how it goes.

for customer service appreciation week, i've written up quizzes for our customer service department. the last question on tomorrow's quiz is, "whose family owns a beet farm?" obviously, this is a trick question: the answer is Dwight, but he doesn't work in customer service here... but it will be interesting to see the answers to that one. bonus points to whoever reads this and mentions it on the quiz. ;)

Office quote of the day: "Your art is the prettiest art of all the art." - Roy to Pam

The Finer Things Club... and some less fine things

2009-10-01T18:15:00.000-04:00

last night, i went to my first meeting of The Finer Things Club. ok, so it's not work-related, but it's definitely Office-related! we had all read The Elegance of the Hedgehog, which i do recommend, even if it's French.

on a more work-related note (yet still, how very Office-related!), one of my co-workers discovered an alarming scene at the vending machine. now, on The Office, Jim is friends with the vending machine guy, Steve, and so he's able to prank Dwight by having his personal office supplies stocked in the vending machine. our vending machine guy is pretty nice, makes small talk without too much awkwardness. the alarming scene was this: his hand down the back of his pants. i can't verify this information because i was not there. could it have just been a quick fix of an untucked shirt? we can't be sure. personally, i would rather give another human being the benefit of the doubt. needless to say, i will be a little more wary of my vending machine purchases from now on.

question of the day: how many wpm (words per minute) can you type?

MLIA of the day: Today, I was sitting in my room and heard a little boy outside sneeze. I said bless you, and five seconds later, I heard a very hesitant...."God??." MLIA

coffee in the morning

2009-09-30T18:57:00.000-04:00

highlight of the day: one of our CSRs gets extremely hyper on caffeine on a regular basis, on top of being a crazy person in general. therefore, a neighbor of hers decided to email said CSR's mother to warn her against the dangers of coffee in the morning and to plead with this mother for the sake of the department.

the mother in question replied and is now known as mama rita in Customer Service.

word of the day: discretion

all dressed up and nowhere to go

2009-09-28T18:57:00.000-04:00

once upon a time, everybody showed up for their interviews...

and the dish ran away with the spoon.

imponderable

2009-09-24T18:39:00.002-04:00

i really like google. i like random facts. for example, did you know that houseflies hum in the key of F? i read that in a book in a Barnes & Noble once, and it just stuck with me.

i also really like imponderables. like, why do you park in a driveway and drive in a parkway? and silly things like that.

one of my customer service co-workers pointed out one of the exclusions in one of our policies is for "competitive sports." that's all it said. so, because we're insurance nerds -- it happens, you just can't help it -- we posulated... of course that includes regular sports like football and soccer and even tennis. but does that include chess? i mean, it is a competition. what about internet hearts? what if a hypothetical person were to be hypothetically injured by a tragically hypothetical accident, perhaps including a keyboard? what if it ended in blood? and a trip to the emergency room? while they were being competitive?

yeah, it was a busy day today and i wasn't paying attention to any funny things going on, so that's all you're going to get today.

The Office is on tonight at 9! yay!

MLIA of the day: Today I was playing Call Of Duty 4 when the connection got interrupted. The person's gamer tag who interrupted the connection was "xxKanyeWestxx". MLIA

i'm glad we don't play Call of Duty here. if my office played a game together, i think i'd want it to be a physical activity, something that gets us outside instead of sitting inside staring at our computers all day. but that's imo.

p.s. there is STILL a table of treats up for grabs!!

NO TIME!

2009-09-23T18:50:00.002-04:00

what a crazy busy day! i'm still trying to catch up, and i only have 15 minutes left... ok, i know that writing this right now isn't helping my production, but i've got to post a couple of things before i forget!

poor pregnant girl #2 had a really, really bad day. every other call was an angry person who just needed a punching bag - and she happened to be the one to pick up the phone. i tried to help by showing her notalwaysright.com. it's really nice to know that other people deal with these kinds of things, too. check it out. it's a really nice way to spend your lunch time. :)

word of the day: unreadable

spanish word of the day: coqueto

p.s. there are STILL leftover treats in customer service, so if anybody is reading this and just needs a really good sugar fix, come visit!

sugar highs and lows

2009-09-22T17:56:00.000-04:00

today, customer service had the best spread of autumn-themed desserts i have ever seen, complete with leave decorations and orange paper plates. if i was smart, i would have brought my camera to take a picture and post it here. but i was not thinking about pictures this morning. i'll remember to bring my camera for our next smorgasbord.

this morning, everybody was wired on coffee with pumpkin spice creamer, apple crisp, apple bread, shoo-fly pie, pecan pie, munchkins from dunkin donuts, mini-muffins, chocolate chip cake...

we all got hyped up on sugar... and then sugar crashed around lunch time. i took my lunch at 2:30 and almost fell asleep. even now, i'm very tempted to close the door to my office, turn out the lights, and nap until time to go. too bad i have this thing called a conscience.

MLIA of the day: I left the Philippines on Monday at 10 pm. I arrived in California on Monday at 8 pm. It was an 11 hour flight. I can now cross "time-traveled" off of my list of things to do before I die. MLIA.

because i've totally done this! my mom is from the philippines, and my family visited for a month during christmas/new year's of 2006/2007, right before i got married. it was awesome! and it ties into this entry because i have a filipino cousin named Sugar.

S.W.A.G.

2009-09-21T18:20:00.000-04:00

S.W.A.G. = Stuff We All Get

but we're not at a conference. no, we get this free stuff from the kitchen. and the rule is, if it doesn't have your name on it, it's up for grabs.

for example: today, i scored half a bag of potato chips from panera bread because someone started eating them and decided they were full.

on friday, i made a list of all the free stuff available in the kitchen:

potato chips (not the ones i had today)
pleather datebook/planner with an unnecessarily bright blue ribbon to mark the day
various coupons for random things
2010 Women's Health Planner (thanks, Aetna)
Jewish apple coffee cake (perhaps in celebration of the first day of Rosh Hashanah, which was Saturday?)

not to mention the order forms for random fundraisers that everybody's children are doing at school. and the various magazines that have piled up over the past 3 years...

and all the various dishes and baskets of candies at strategically located places in the office, which force me to take an equally strategic route to and from the restroom.

tomorrow is the first day of Autumn. therefore, customer service is having a party. everybody brings in snacks, desserts, drinks, etc. and we pig out. this is why customer service is the best department in the whole company -- we have parties for any reason we can think of. the rest of the company is jealous. they know it. but we're awesome -- we share.

i'm bringing apple bread from the apples i picked off trees yesterday at an orchard. :)

somewhat office-like situation of the day (but not quite): apparently, one of the cleaning guys tonight looks a little like the guy from "office space," which i don't remember, but my co-worker insists that this is accurate.

currently listening to: hanson. *don't hate

Gossip

2009-09-18T18:53:00.001-04:00

fridays are usually slow days in the office. it's understandable - people would rather procrastinate their work until monday, thus giving themselves a kind of extended weekend. slacking on fridays seems to be a nation-wide thing, because even our west coast line stops ringing around 4. from this i conclude that the work week mentally ends at lunch on friday. we may be here in body, but that doesn't mean we're actually doing anything.

when customer service is having a slow day (and sometimes when we're busy), we get to back up the mailroom. one of our CSR's counted 19 envelopes that had the wrong address but somehow got to us. one of them put the town and the state/zip on two different lines... i thought they taught you how to address an envelope in second grade. seriously, i googled it.

also, as a follow up to the snake story: one look outside proved our theory wrong. there are no tree branches overhanging the building, and so it couldn't have dropped from a tree branch onto the roof. it was quickly decided that an eagle must have picked up the snake to eat it, but since the snake was so slithery, it wriggled out of the eagle's talons and fell onto the roof of our building. so, at least part of the original story is definitely true. anyway, here is our retarded snake:

by the way, last night's episode of The Office (entitled "Gossip") was AWESOME. i took the idea and ran with it, spreading a rumor that the Pam in our office is pregnant, and it got picked up that our Jim Halpert called one of the CSR's stupid. by the end of the day, he was racist.

and Pam really is pregnant. but we knew that.

so it's really like The Office.

promise.

Jay-Z, the snake, and the office premiere

2009-09-17T18:04:00.003-04:00

it was a busy enough day that i spent most of my day answering calls like a rep. it was nostalgic and a lot less intense than being the supervisor. i liked it. interesting things happen when you talk to nearly 50 people in a day.

today, i asked a caller for their first name. she said it was Jay-Z. i didn't even bother to clarify. i typed "Jay-Z" into my call log and let it make my morning. MLIA

random office situation: there was a snake found in the office. it was a little garden snake, and we took it outside at once, but i've been trying to figure out how it even got in the building, let alone into one of the perimeter offices... here is our theory, as told by trish:

it was originally in a tree, minding its own business, when a strong wind blew it onto the ceiling of our building. it found a hole, slithered into the darkness, and found its way into the building's heating and cooling system. when it found a little patch of light in the floor, it tried to go toward the light but ended up falling through the vent in the ceiling of one of the offices, hid under the desk until the next day, and when all the lights were on, it tried to escape. but the escape attempt was thwarted by the tall blonde lady who threw it out the back door and back into the woods - i mean, the evolve environment.

ok, so it wasn't a bat, and it didn't bite anybody and give them rabies, but it's darn close enough! too bad i didn't get a picture.

office premiere countdown: 3 hours! w00t!

hello goodbye

2009-09-15T18:52:00.000-04:00

woah! random turn of events: one of our customer service reps just up and quit on us! well, her "official" last day is friday, but she interviewed last night, got an offer today, and wrote up her resignation letter - all within 24 hours! good for her. i must admit, we're all a little jealous. ok, i'm a little jealous. her new job is only 5 miles away from home, as opposed to this one, which is about 30 miles from home. not kidding. plus the turnpike tolls, which add up to about $80 a month. and that's for her. they're more for me, since i live an exit or two farther away. ok, i'm a lot jealous. honestly, if another job comes up that is closer to home, i would seriously consider it - even if it paid less. those gas and toll prices are killer.

also, our walking medical diagnosis has returned to us, a little stitched up, but alive and with really funny stories. that's always a good thing.

MLIA of the day: "Today I was having some ice cream and the first bite was so cold it hurt. Without thinking, I blew on the second bite before eating it. Then I remembered it was ice cream. MLIA"

office premiere countdown: 2 days and 2.1 hours

monday, monday

2009-09-14T18:26:00.002-04:00

it was a beautiful day outside! i only got to see it once during my work day, when i took the long way back from the bathroom (by going outside, walking down the parking lot, and entering through the front door).

in other news, congrats to our latest pregnant chick, who just found out she's having a boy!! relatedly, i started knitting a baby boy hat (for the already established male that's coming). i'll make two. :)

in more other news, a co-worker didn't come in today because his heart is too big on one side (or so i'm told, because i haven't been able to look up the story on facebook. that will have to wait till i get home) so he fell over and had to visit lots of doctors. so, no, he wasn't hit by the boss's car while the boss was driving it... but it's dramatic enough for an otherwise boring monday. seriously, i didn't send out hardly any emails.

new addition: please notice the newest addition to this page. only you can prevent swine flu.

office premiere countdown: 3 days, 2.5 hours.
if you know where i live, you're invited to a party to watch The Office season premiere!

doppelgangers

2009-09-11T16:52:00.004-04:00

in preparation for the new season of the office, and in response to conversations with a couple of my co-workers, i've been thinking about the characters in my office and how similar they are to the characters in The Office. this is the list of people i'm sure we have in our office:

Angela (the stickler, not the cheater)
Dwight
Stanley (minus the crossword puzzles)
Phyllis
Roy (plus a few tatoos)
Meredith
Toby
Pam (could be split among a few people here)
Jim
Ryan the temp (not Ryan the jerk)
Michael Scott

yup. that's my very solid list. i'm excited, because i just figured out who Dwight is! and i'm a little iffy on David Wallace, but it's kind of there. Jan has too many schizophrenic qualities to be any one person here. who else...?

vernacular

2009-09-10T17:43:00.002-04:00

today would probably not be an episode of the office. i taught one of my co-workers what the word "collate" means because it just wasn't in her vernacular. well, now it is. and i've pulled her a little more into the world of medical/insurance terminology. and it does happen. in my experience -- and it really depends on the person -- it usually takes about a month for a person to feel comfortable in a new place. it's only a few short months after that that they become part of the new place.

in this place, you can tell these people from their conversations: the new people talk about their likes, dislikes, plans for the weekend. you know, normal stuff.

on the other hand, there are us nerds who know the terminology and, worse, we use it in everyday conversation. we use words like "collate." or, (those of us in customer service) "please bear with me." or we answer our cell phones, "thank you for calling customer service, how can i help you?"

true story: a co-worker of mine was handing out flyers on the street to raise awareness for Invisible Children. when he held out the flyer, he said, "thank you for calling customer service, how can i help you?" ummm... classical conditioning?

funny quote of the day: "i don't understand the difference between past and future."

office premiere countown: 7 days and 1.25 hours

the A/C is fixed!

2009-09-09T18:41:00.001-04:00

and tonight is the REAL premiere of season 6 of so you think you can dance. after that is the series premiere of glee, which i'm very curious about because it seems like high school musical in a tv series... and i like that idea very much. :)

there's really not much going on today... i had leftover corn on the cob and steak for lunch. i got a splinter on the bottom of my foot yesterday and it bled (two different things, i think) so i couldn't go running this morning like i had hoped. there is a mini reese's peanut butter cup on my desk that i keep looking at. i'm trying to decide if i should eat it before or after my pudding that's been in the fridge since last week (sorry to whoever has kitchen duty. ((they call it "KP" and i've never understood why...)) also, sorry to the kitchen nazi.)

see? not a very exciting day.

update from the sauna

2009-09-08T18:56:00.001-04:00

as was previously stated, it feels like a desert island in customer service -- and not in a good way. if you walk into the department at a casual pace (about 2.5 mph), you will notice that, the moment you cross the threshold into the box that is customer service, the temperature spikes to about 85 degrees Farenheit. except, it doesn't spike. it sits up there until you leave the sauna.

apparently, the A/C compressor went haywire. there's cold air sitting in the vents; it's just not being ushered into the room. at least my office has a nice little Hawaiian Breeze fan that blows air around. it helps a little. i feel bad for the 2 pregnant girls who had to sit in this all day.

but really, it's so hot i'm gonna have a heat stroke.

and i forgot to put deodorant on this morning.

labor day

2009-09-08T13:29:00.000-04:00

yesterday was labor day. in honor of this holiday, i did not have to work. instead, i went to school! i joined thane in all of his classes which, being a monday, lasted from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. i have to admit, it's a really long day. but i learned so much! makes me really excited to take classes again, which i plan to do this Spring.

last night, there was a coffeehouse-type thing in the Eagle's Nest, which is the cafe on campus. i absolutely love the atmosphere of a coffeehouse. i also absolutely love my sister, who came with me. we chatted over coffee about the singer-songwriter on stage and decided that he sings like ben gibbard (from death cab for cutie and the postal service) but plays guitar like john mayer with hints of jack johnson and jason mraz. but, since he plays an ibanez, the sound off his guitar is woodier than the above.

it was a very refreshing day. i almost didn't labor at all! oh, to be back in school again...

in other news, i've recently discovered the site mylifeisaverage.com and i can't get enough of it! hilarious stuff.

also, the climate in customer service changed considerably over the long weekend: it feels like a sauna, as opposed to the average temperature of antarctica. i'm not sure how i feel about this yet.

hand sanitizer

2009-09-03T18:34:00.002-04:00

as i was walking back from the printer today, i noticed that our cozy little customer service department as grown a Purell hand sanitizer dispenser. it's attached to the wall on one end of the room. now, i may not be the most observant person in the world, but i would swear that i have never seen it there before! my co-worker even pointed out another dispenser attached to a wall randomly sitting in the hallway near reception... we also have one in the kitchen by the sink, and by the door to the bathroom, and by the back door (i.e., the smokers' door). that's FIVE hand sanitizers, beside the little stick-it-in-your-purse ones that every other person has at their desk. are we really that dirty? i mean, we work at an office! what are people doing on their way back from the printer that they need to pass two hand sanitizer dispensers? (also, as a warning, they dispense a lot of that stuff, so be careful.)

incidentally, my manager and i were having a conversation about hand sanitizer a couple weeks ago in which we both agreed that kids were made to get dirty, not be bathed in anti-bacterial stuff every 5 minutes. this senitment was repeated to Bob in Accounting (no, really, he exists), who retorted, "yeah, but kids are also made to wash their hands."

and that's all i have to say about that.

funny quote of the day: "The ozone is a myth." - Dale in IT (aka Jim Halpert)

and a retraction: last night was not the season premiere of So You Think You Can Dance. it was just a highlights show from the last 5 years. i guess to bring people up to date since they're going from a summer show to prime time. my bad. the real season premiere is next wednesday. w00t!

hump day

2009-09-02T18:18:00.002-04:00

so you think you can dance season 6 premiere is tonight. i've found that finding things to look forward to really helps break up the monotony.

also most of today wasn't even spent doing my job. it was spend doing data entry/paperwork stuff... my boredom + my Acheiver-ness = finding something to do, even if it is equally as boring as my real job. (btw, yes, i know my top 5 strengths: acheiver, connectedness, input, belief, empathy. how do i know these so well? they stare at me, hanging from my office door's handle. that's right, they're printed on a door hanger. i think maybe one day i'll take a picture and post it here to give you the right idea.) but if i make a game of the data entry (how fast can i type out this information?), it's not so bad. and really, it's been slow enough the last 2 days that i can take breaks when my eyes hurt too badly.

speaking of hurting, today's office drama: one of the Customer Service Reps realized her peanut allergy today and spent some time doubled over in tummy pain in the kitchen. i was on lunch at the time, so i ran over to the local pharmacy (aka the Administrative Department) and got some Rolaids. One of our wonderful Claims people offered her saltines, and our HR lady said that an old Lithuanian woman told her to sip on warm lemon water for an upset stomach. i just love how our family comes together when someone is in need. so, yay for the office!

funny office moment of the day: i had let our temporary receptionist borrow my Staples "easy" button for the week. the President of the Company was coming out of a meeting and hit it! (it's probably only funny if you know her. or if the president of your company is a very intimidating woman.)

the light bulb

2009-09-01T18:03:00.001-04:00

i just had a brilliant idea! i am going to blog about my office. now, i will not be giving out personal identifiable information, thus violating HIPAA (the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 - look it up). ever since they blocked facebook in the office, we have had nothing to do. most of us in my department picked up twitter, but you can only tell the world what you're doing a few times a day before you look self-obsessed... or really, really bored. which is what i am.

therefore, i am starting an office blog. i'm kind of excited.

today's topic: young, energetic people with good ideas who hit a ceiling when they try to contribute something. seriously. now, i am only 23 years old. i know i'm not the wise woman i hope to someday be, but i do believe that, every once in a while, i have a good idea. and i get shot down. or i have an opinion. that gets shot down even faster.

i know i'm not alone. there are several people (mostly 20somethings who, like myself, are too creative not to be bored with the desk jobs they have) who see problems but who don't really have a say in the Company and don't have the right strings (or blood relations) to get a say. it's really frustrating.

ok, that's all the time i have for now. i'm sure i will be posting again soon.

office moment of the day: finding out that the season premiere of The Office starts at 9pm on 9/17/09, and setting it as a meeting in my Microsoft Outlook and inviting my department and a few choice Office fans. i guess there are a few things about my job that i truly enjoy.