how being born is kinda like a hangover

i don't drink. i don't like the taste of alcohol, and every time i try it, i remember how much i don't like it. my husband is allergic to it, so that just drives the nail into the coffin of my would-be drinking habit.

so, it kind of goes without saying that i've never been drunk. but i guess it should be said. apparently, i'm in the minority, but i'm banking on that. because it will make my new theory all the more hilarious. are you ready?

here it is: being born is like a hangover.
(remember, i've never experienced a hangover, and i've never really seen a hangover first-hand, so this is entirely put together from movies and co-workers' stories. feel free to comment and/or tag yourselves.)

where is this coming from? and what does it have to do with the office? well, today pregnant lady #2 had her bouncing baby boy today! and boy does the picture say a few things. maybe not a thousand words, but here's what it told me: "man, why are the lights so bright? and why is everybody so loud? i hate this! i feel like crap, and i look like it, too. and all i want to do it go back to sleep!"

so, am i right? does that sound like a hangover? because bouncing baby boy is actually not bouncing at all. he looks angry.

anyway, i miss my friend. we're both seniors in our department and we've seen a lot of crazy stuff. and thus, the inspiration for the office quote of the day:


Oscar: Pam and Jim are on their honeymoon, so there's not the usual balance between sane and others. Toby has mentally checked out since June. It's a very dangerous time. The coalition for reason is extremely weak.


NEW episode of The Office on tonight!! and i must admit, i did chuckle when i read this on Twitter from @theofficenbc: #TheOffice is back! Don't miss tonight's ALL NEW episode "Sabre" - yes, we really mean all new - at 9/8c!

variety is the spice of life

the beginning of the year is always really hectic. so, to spice things up, i've been going to work every day in search of one funny story to come home with. i think this will be my new mission in my office life, and i will document it in this blog. yesterday's was a good one.

one of our customer service reps had asked a caller to send in a written description of their injury. (apparently, he had been chasing his friends in the snow and ran into a tree.) all we needed was a letter or email from this person for his files, and he decided to email pictures as well.

it would be a violation of tons of laws to post those pictures here, so a description of each of the three pictures will have to suffice:

1. the first picture is of a young man sitting up on a couch with his legs stretched forward. he looks to be in conversation with someone off-camera, so this is a candid shot. it's kind of hard to tell what's going on or if there's even an injury. he doesn't look to be in pain...
2. the second picture is of him making a face. again, it's a candid shot, and this time it looks like he might be in pain, but it could also be that's he's acting out a spanish soap opera scene where he was just told that his best friend is missing in the Himalayas; maybe he's whining about not being able to reach the snacks on the coffee table. it's hard to tell. there is still no sign of injury... 
3. third is the money shot. his ankle is swollen like two apples on either side, and his foot is pretty swollen, too. if there had to be a picture, this would suffice. but really, all we needed was the date and description of injury.

today's "variety is the spice of life" item is a secret. it's a dumb secret, but i'm still not allowed to let anyone know. it's a secret between me and the guy in IT (aka Jim Halpert). 

ooh! also today, my manager went to the mall (the big one, i think you know which one) for lunch, and i realized that the food court has a Chick-Fil-A, which has the best waffle fries EVER. i'm pretty sure fries are one of my top 3 favorite foods, along with lasagna and chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven with milk. but i digress. i gave him some money and asked him to get me some of those amazing waffle fries, but then i remembered how much i like their wraps with thousand island dressing, and then i thought i might as well get the whole meal... yup, Chick-Fil-A lunch definitely makes it a fun day.

also, one of our reps just spoke to a woman who fell down a well.