how being born is kinda like a hangover

i don't drink. i don't like the taste of alcohol, and every time i try it, i remember how much i don't like it. my husband is allergic to it, so that just drives the nail into the coffin of my would-be drinking habit.

so, it kind of goes without saying that i've never been drunk. but i guess it should be said. apparently, i'm in the minority, but i'm banking on that. because it will make my new theory all the more hilarious. are you ready?

here it is: being born is like a hangover.
(remember, i've never experienced a hangover, and i've never really seen a hangover first-hand, so this is entirely put together from movies and co-workers' stories. feel free to comment and/or tag yourselves.)

where is this coming from? and what does it have to do with the office? well, today pregnant lady #2 had her bouncing baby boy today! and boy does the picture say a few things. maybe not a thousand words, but here's what it told me: "man, why are the lights so bright? and why is everybody so loud? i hate this! i feel like crap, and i look like it, too. and all i want to do it go back to sleep!"

so, am i right? does that sound like a hangover? because bouncing baby boy is actually not bouncing at all. he looks angry.

anyway, i miss my friend. we're both seniors in our department and we've seen a lot of crazy stuff. and thus, the inspiration for the office quote of the day:


Oscar: Pam and Jim are on their honeymoon, so there's not the usual balance between sane and others. Toby has mentally checked out since June. It's a very dangerous time. The coalition for reason is extremely weak.


NEW episode of The Office on tonight!! and i must admit, i did chuckle when i read this on Twitter from @theofficenbc: #TheOffice is back! Don't miss tonight's ALL NEW episode "Sabre" - yes, we really mean all new - at 9/8c!

bathroom upgrade

today, the office restrooms got a little makeover -- in the form of automatic soap dispensers! plus, a few weeks ago, they upgraded on the paper towel quality, which was so nice! it doesn't rip, and i don't have to use as much...

is it weird that we get excited over these things?

tomorrow, a new episode of The Office! :)


word of the day: guesstimation 

so many crazy people in the world!!

some of my favorite quotes from emails or calls that happened today:

• "five minutes ago i could see, but now i'm blind."
• "ok, but is it lupus?"
• "crack -- you know, it's a drug?"
• "ok, please explain to me how a chair caused your abdominal pain that made you go to the ER..."

and here's a fun conversation:

rep: "i can't just sit in silence while you think of a question. it's tying up the line. can you call back when you think of something?"  
caller: "ok, you don't like silence?" *starts singing* (and it sounds an awful lot like the Little Mermaid -- "ahh aahhh")
rep after the call: "the little mermaid gave me contractions!"

yesterday's song of the day: "if you want to be happy for the rest of your life" by jimmy soul

we had tons of fun yesterday trying to figure out the lyrics before some brilliant person Googled them.

i did have a song of the day for today, but now i can't think of it because of that catchy song about marrying ugly women... any help? it might have been the "chicken noodle soup" song we discovered today. apparently, there's a dance. 

in other news, The Office comes back on tonight! i can't wait. i'm inviting a ton of people over, i'm going to be knitting the Gryffindor scarf i've been working on, and i'm going to take notes for tomorrow's blog! ok, maybe not the last one.

the adventures of cat and the ceiling

today's episode is titled "The Adventures of Cat and the Ceiling" because of a very special co-worker and her ongoing struggle with the area directly above her desk.

first, there was the bug incident, in which dead bugs were allegedly falling from the air vent. if you will recall, that was the day that a certain higher-up in the company -- and not just one maintenance man -- got up on a ladder to investigate. (that particular day is also the reason i now bring my camera to work with me every day.)

second, there is the ever-popular fight with the temperature (too hot or too cold, again because of the air vent). but i'm told that this is a constant debate whenever there are women working in an office.

also, according to Toby on The Office, everyone
should bring a cardigan or sweater to work in
case of drafts... i prefer my blanket, as it is much
more comfortable and fun.

today, it was the light, which is not the air vent but they must be in cahoots, since they sit right next to each other in the ceiling -- both directly above the desk in question. the light must have wanted some drama, because it recently started flickering and nearly caused seizures for at least one office worker (not really). so, again with the ladder and maintenance men in our department. and now there's one very bright ceiling light.


quote of yesterday: "i apologize for your suffering."

quote of the day: "i might have the baby tomorrow if she keeps it up."

---
update: there is pizza box in the kitchen with half a pizza if anybody wants it...

angry mama bear

today, i was threatened... but in a nice way. i wasn't quite sure how to take it. the caller was an angry mama-bear type, and i think we must have attacked her cub or something, because she was definitely provoked. allow me to add this image to your mental picture:

 

so, mama bear was provoked but her natural good-natured self was still intact. she smiled the whole time. (you can hear that kind of thing on the phone.) it was a simple threat: "You should be happy I don't live anywhere near you." i didn't quite know how to react to that.

today's song of the day is inspired by today's Office quote of the day, which comes from the episode i watched last night, "A Benihana Christmas."

The Office quote of the day:

Andy:	So she looks really hot, so I said, 'you look hotter than usual today.' [...] So, she looks at me right? And she goes, 'I'm sorry, do I even know you?' After a year! A year of buying lattes from her. Do you believe that?
Jim Halpert:	Yes.

song of the day: "taylor the latte boy" by kristin chenoweth, whom i love.