what a disappointing pretzel day

so, here's what went wrong with my master plan:

first, the new girl didn't start today. apparently, she starts next monday. i just wasn't told. so, absolutely 0% chance of her going to the beet farm or egging a building.

there were no toppings for the pretzels!! in fact, there was nobody guarding the pretzels at all. they were in a box on a table in a conference room that nobody knew about until today. i even came in early today! i was so excited. the pretzels were supposed to arrive at 9:30am. it turned 11am, and then somebody found out they were down the hall, past the men's bathroom. i would like to thank the person who finally found the pretzels. they must have been eagerly searching for them, because there's no need to walk down that corridor past the men's room. if you're a man, you miss it by a few feet. if you're a woman, you're even farther away. and if you've got the munchies, the vending machines aren't even as far down that hall as the men's restroom. so i really wonder how someone found it... unless they were a man (or very observant woman) walking to the restroom, and they happened to notice someone walking out of that room with a pretzel in their hand. they might have asked, or they might have gone to investigate. or, maybe they weren't in need of rest at all, and they were deciding how best to spend $1.25 -- a can of coke or two packs of gum? i think i like this situation better, because the person had a better chance of spotting someone in the know, because a really indecisive person (probably a woman) could stand there for at least 3 minutes and not be conspicuous.

anyway, back to the room without a pretzel topping man. yeah, nobody there. just pretzels -- cold pretzels -- in a box. with some mustard that you could squeeze onto the pretzel, if you so desired. at least there was some variety: they had yellow mustard and Dijon mustard. but nothing else. did i mention that they were cold and just sitting in a box? i could have taken that box and walked away, and nobody would have known! except for my company, because we have security cameras. i'm pretty sure all of the other offices in the building are small and don't have security cameras.

my manager didn't even have a pretzel because he didn't want to break his diet. and i forgot to get him to do a Cosby impression.

not the best day. maybe tomorrow will be better.

word of the day: conspicuous /kənsp'ɪkjuəs/

Synonyms:
adjective: prominent, noticeable, notable, marked, outstanding, striking, salient, obvious

1. If someone or something is conspicuous, people can see or notice them very easily.ADJ ADJ-GRADED
   • Antonym inconspicuous
   • The most conspicuous way in which the old politics is changing is in the growing use of referendums.
   • You may feel tearful in situations where you feel conspicuous.
   • conspicuously ADV ADV-GRADED ADV with v ADV adj
     
     1. Britain continues to follow U.S. policy in this and other areas where American policies have most conspicuously failed.
     2. Johnston's name was conspicuously absent from the list.
2. If you say that someone or something is conspicuous by their absence, you are drawing attention to the fact that they are not in a place or situation where you think they should be. PHRASE
   • He played no part in the game and was conspicuous by his absence in the post-match celebrations.

Pretzel Day!

this monday, march 1 is pretzel day in our office complex! i am not making this up. and everybody is looking forward to it.

i'm kind of excited, because we have a new CSR starting on monday, and this makes us look like an awesome company. so, it's kind of cool, because it really is like an initiation! hmmm...

in patterning my office after The Office, the following things need to happen on Pretzel Day:

• keep a log of what the manager does all day.
• the manager needs to do a Bill Cosby impression. (i think we can pull this off)
• the manager needs to get hyped up on sugar after eating his soft pretzel with every possible topping. (this will be more difficult. for one thing, he's on a diet. and also, they probably won't offer different toppings.)
• someone steals someone else's chair.
• we bring to new girl to the Schrute beet farm for some interrogation/training and wrestling their cousin Mose. (highly improbable)
• new girl eggs a building (again, highly improbable)

ok, so 50% of this stuff is actually doable! hooray! i'll give a review of our Pretzel Day next week.

The Office quotes of the day:

Pam Beesly:

Once a year they bring in a little cart and they give away free pretzels. It's really not a big deal. [pause] To some people it is.

Stanley:

364 days... 'til the next Pretzel Day.

the day after a holiday

the day after a holiday is always really, really busy here in customer service. for those of you who ever want to call a customer service/call center, please don't do it on the day after a holiday. you'd just be thinking like everybody else, and you don't want to be like the herd, do you? you want to be unique, so you should really call at a random time like 9:12 or 2:45. please please please don't call at 4:30. everybody does that. or even worse, 4:55. and then have a huge issue you want to resolve right now. it's not cool. and it just might land you on the naughty list.

also, i looked up "President's Day" on Google. i hadn't realized it used to be called "Washington's Birthday." hm.


quote of the day:
"i'll keep an eye out for that fax and call you if there's any issue with it."
"well good, 'cause we're poor over here!"
(how does a person respond to that?)

song of the day: "battlefield" by jordin sparks.
i don't know. it's been in my head since i heard it in home depot the other day, and today really felt like a battlefield. i think that's reason enough.

SNOW!!!

the company was closed on wednesday due to the massive blizzard that came through on tuesday night and lasted all of wednesday. =D the snow had stopped by thursday, but my parking lot was a game of bumper cars just waiting to happen. my husband didn't let me go to work. so i took my first vacation day of the year. i'm ok with that. i've worked three days this week and have had 3 weekends in 10 days! monday is a holiday... i forget if President's Day is for a certain president, or past presidents, or the current president. oh well.

also, sunday is valentine's day!! Customer Service had a little V-Day celebration (as much as was possible in a terribly busy day because of all the catch-up work). last night was a Valentine's Day episode of The Office. well, it was an episode of The Office that acknowledged Valentine's Day. close enough. although, i wish they had played out Jim as the manager for at least another episode or two... so much tension, it would have been awesome!

office quote of the day: "a spinning brain is a working brain."

word of the day: pacifically

• pacific - relating to or bordering the Pacific Ocean; "Pacific islands"
• pacific - disposed to peace or of a peaceful nature; "the pacific temper seeks to settle disputes on grounds of justice rather than by force"; "a quiet and peaceable person"; "in a peaceable and orderly manner"
• pacific - the largest ocean in the world
• pacific - promoting peace; "the result of this pacific policy was that no troops were called up"

how being born is kinda like a hangover

i don't drink. i don't like the taste of alcohol, and every time i try it, i remember how much i don't like it. my husband is allergic to it, so that just drives the nail into the coffin of my would-be drinking habit.

so, it kind of goes without saying that i've never been drunk. but i guess it should be said. apparently, i'm in the minority, but i'm banking on that. because it will make my new theory all the more hilarious. are you ready?

here it is: being born is like a hangover.
(remember, i've never experienced a hangover, and i've never really seen a hangover first-hand, so this is entirely put together from movies and co-workers' stories. feel free to comment and/or tag yourselves.)

where is this coming from? and what does it have to do with the office? well, today pregnant lady #2 had her bouncing baby boy today! and boy does the picture say a few things. maybe not a thousand words, but here's what it told me: "man, why are the lights so bright? and why is everybody so loud? i hate this! i feel like crap, and i look like it, too. and all i want to do it go back to sleep!"

so, am i right? does that sound like a hangover? because bouncing baby boy is actually not bouncing at all. he looks angry.

anyway, i miss my friend. we're both seniors in our department and we've seen a lot of crazy stuff. and thus, the inspiration for the office quote of the day:


Oscar: Pam and Jim are on their honeymoon, so there's not the usual balance between sane and others. Toby has mentally checked out since June. It's a very dangerous time. The coalition for reason is extremely weak.


NEW episode of The Office on tonight!! and i must admit, i did chuckle when i read this on Twitter from @theofficenbc: #TheOffice is back! Don't miss tonight's ALL NEW episode "Sabre" - yes, we really mean all new - at 9/8c!