once upon a time, there was a dead bird. i don't know how it died, but it must have been over the weekend because monday morning, it was lying dead on the office's doorstep. ok, it wasn't actually on the doorstep, which is quite small. it was tucked up against the doorstep so that you stepped over it to enter the building. someone in our office said she thought it was a leaf.
anyway, the dead little bird was there monday morning, and a customer service rep came in complaining about it. the dead little bird was still there this morning, when the same customer service reps complained about it. seeing as how auditors were coming, we decided to move it out of sight. having a dead bird by your doorstep is not very inviting or professional.
someone suggested a memorial service, so when my manager brought out a dustpan and scooped up the dead little bird, i said a few words. it was a very moving ceremony. unfortunately, it was only a little bit like the episode of The Office where they have a funeral for a dead bird. quote time!
Pam: I'd also like to say a few words if that's okay.
Michael: Yes.
Pam: What do we know about this bird? You might think, "Not much. It's just a bird." But we do know some things. We know it was a local bird. Maybe it's that same bird that surprised Oscar that one morning with a special present from above.
Kevin: Oh, I remember that. That was SO funny.
Pam: And we know how he died. Flying into the glass doors. But you know what? I don't think he was being stupid. I think he just really, really wanted to come inside our building to spread his cheer and lift our spirits with a song.
Dwight: He's not a songbird.
Michael: Shhh.
Pam: An impression, then. Lastly, we can't help but notice that he was by himself when he died, but of course, we all know that doesn't mean he was alone. Because I'm sure that there were lots of other birds out there who cared for him very much. He will not be forgotten.
Angela: [quickly] Amen.
Dwight: [begins playing recorder]
Pam: [singing] Just smile for me and let the day begin. You are the sunshine that lights my heart within... on the wings of love ...
so, it wasn't really like that. but it was close enough.
in the end, the auditors came, and there was not a dead bird there to greet them. they don't even know they should be grateful.
the end.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
fee schedule
I just put up this list in my office, so please be aware of the following fees before making any associated decisions:
ABBY'S FEE SCHEDULE:
ABBY'S FEE SCHEDULE:
- Hugs: 5 cents
- Proofreading: 50 cents per page
- Supervisor calls: $5.00 per escalated call
- Career counseling: $5.00 per half-hour
- Relationship counseling: $5.00 per half-hour
- Matchmaking: $20 initial finder's fee (plus 10% of any and all monetary wedding gifts)
Monday, September 20, 2010
moving on... ?
thoughts... what is a good reason to leave a job? and is there a difference in needing/wanting to leave a position and needing/wanting to leave a company? and what is the difference between good reasons and good excuses? hmmm...
i finally caved to the reality of this "economical crisis" when i realized that i've been working with the same people for 2 years. usually, the turnover in my customer service department is 1 year, and sometimes, it's higher than that. so the fact that people aren't leaving doesn't mean that they love the job; it just means that they can't get out. fact. so, even though we're stuck here, are there any good reasons we should all leave when the job market picks back up? i'm sure we'll see a mass exodus of antsy 20somethings such as myself from their current workplaces into other jobs. kind of like musical chairs. but musical companies. i hope they actually play music. that would be awesome.
i finally caved to the reality of this "economical crisis" when i realized that i've been working with the same people for 2 years. usually, the turnover in my customer service department is 1 year, and sometimes, it's higher than that. so the fact that people aren't leaving doesn't mean that they love the job; it just means that they can't get out. fact. so, even though we're stuck here, are there any good reasons we should all leave when the job market picks back up? i'm sure we'll see a mass exodus of antsy 20somethings such as myself from their current workplaces into other jobs. kind of like musical chairs. but musical companies. i hope they actually play music. that would be awesome.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
a long day and wanderlust
so today i'm scheduled to work 10:30-7 instead of my usual 8-4:30 to cover for our trusty late-shift supervisor, who is out today. my morning was pretty hectic; i let myself sleep in a little as an indulgence (last night was a relatively late one), and i got myself out the door about 10 minutes later than i wanted. but it's all good: i got to work at exactly 8:00. my manager came to the front door to let me in, and he greeted me with "What are you doing here?" which was not nearly as pleasant as the "Good morning!" i had just given him. and then i realized i was 2 1/2 hours early!! oh well, i'll be working 8-7 today, but i'm taking an hour lunch now and a half-hour dinner break later in the afternoon. now that's what i call balance. ugh.
in other news, it's that time again. i'm wanderlusty, grasping for anything that might add spice to my otherwise stable (aka BORING) routine of a life. i've been living in the same apartment for 2 years now; i've had the same job for coming on 2 years; and i think the most interesting new thing in my life is my parents' new dog, chap (so named for charlie chaplin, who also never speaks) -- but even that newness is wearing off (it's been 2 months since they got him). i'm so ready for december, when thane graduates and we start doing something else.
you can visually see when i need variety because i change the layout of this blog. (btw, what do you think?)
yesterday was a minor holiday, so of course my husband had classes. i absolutely love martin luther king jr. day, labor day and columbus day because i get off and he doesn't. so i get to be a student for those days. i'm not even joking that yesterday was the most fun i'd had since thane's birthday party. i got to learn about early irish society, the military strategy of joshua's conquest of the Promised Land (paradoxical-sounding, i know), and i got a lot of reading time. it was wonderful, and i would love to go to school again. but, you know, the grass is always greener and all that.
in other news, it's that time again. i'm wanderlusty, grasping for anything that might add spice to my otherwise stable (aka BORING) routine of a life. i've been living in the same apartment for 2 years now; i've had the same job for coming on 2 years; and i think the most interesting new thing in my life is my parents' new dog, chap (so named for charlie chaplin, who also never speaks) -- but even that newness is wearing off (it's been 2 months since they got him). i'm so ready for december, when thane graduates and we start doing something else.
you can visually see when i need variety because i change the layout of this blog. (btw, what do you think?)
yesterday was a minor holiday, so of course my husband had classes. i absolutely love martin luther king jr. day, labor day and columbus day because i get off and he doesn't. so i get to be a student for those days. i'm not even joking that yesterday was the most fun i'd had since thane's birthday party. i got to learn about early irish society, the military strategy of joshua's conquest of the Promised Land (paradoxical-sounding, i know), and i got a lot of reading time. it was wonderful, and i would love to go to school again. but, you know, the grass is always greener and all that.
Friday, September 3, 2010
one of my favorite things
last night, thane had a night class. my sister brought her roommates over for dinner (we had this amazing thai red curry) and had some girl time. it was cute.
The Finer Things Club meets on wednesday to discuss To Kill a Mockingbird, so after the girls left, i read for a couple of hours. it was wonderful. i think this pre-appointed reading time might be reason enough for me to bring thursdays back.
in case you didn't know, we did away with thursdays a few months ago, when my boss realized that fridays were so much more fun. so, instead of having a thursday and then a friday, we decided that there would be two fridays instead. so, yesterday was actually friday, and today is friday 2.0. i'm serious, it's improved morale by at least 5%. (but that's a lie, because i don't even know what that means. i mean, i know what it means, in theory, but how in the world would you measure morale? how many laughs occur in the department each day? or maybe the average of the sum of smiles + laughs + jokes equals the average morale... i feel like this should be in a chart format. maybe next post, because this is getting far too long to be a side comment in parenthesis.)
BRILLIANT IDEA! so, my manager has been bored all morning. seriously, he's asked me if it's 4:00 yet at least 5 times in the last 2 hours. i'm going to take that as him not having enough to do (don't care if it's true or not) and now every time he steps into my office, i'm going to ask him to do something. at the ready, i have 3 pieces of paper that need to be shredded, so i'm set for at least 3 visits. i'm sure i can think of more tasks if it comes to it. this will keep me entertained for the rest of the day. i think it might become a friday 2.0 tradition.
The Finer Things Club meets on wednesday to discuss To Kill a Mockingbird, so after the girls left, i read for a couple of hours. it was wonderful. i think this pre-appointed reading time might be reason enough for me to bring thursdays back.
in case you didn't know, we did away with thursdays a few months ago, when my boss realized that fridays were so much more fun. so, instead of having a thursday and then a friday, we decided that there would be two fridays instead. so, yesterday was actually friday, and today is friday 2.0. i'm serious, it's improved morale by at least 5%. (but that's a lie, because i don't even know what that means. i mean, i know what it means, in theory, but how in the world would you measure morale? how many laughs occur in the department each day? or maybe the average of the sum of smiles + laughs + jokes equals the average morale... i feel like this should be in a chart format. maybe next post, because this is getting far too long to be a side comment in parenthesis.)
BRILLIANT IDEA! so, my manager has been bored all morning. seriously, he's asked me if it's 4:00 yet at least 5 times in the last 2 hours. i'm going to take that as him not having enough to do (don't care if it's true or not) and now every time he steps into my office, i'm going to ask him to do something. at the ready, i have 3 pieces of paper that need to be shredded, so i'm set for at least 3 visits. i'm sure i can think of more tasks if it comes to it. this will keep me entertained for the rest of the day. i think it might become a friday 2.0 tradition.
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